


When Monsters Rise and Love Conquers

by Spitfyre44



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Almost Destruction of Earth, Alternate Universe, Awkward Romance, Destruction of Vulcan, M/M, New Vulcan, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Spoilers Star Trek (2009), Starfleet Academy, Tarsus IV, USS Kelvin, Vulcan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-01-13 22:06:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1242304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spitfyre44/pseuds/Spitfyre44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Kirk/Spock who grew up together after the Kelvin Incident leaves both fatherless. Winona leaves Jim at Age 4 with Amanda and Spock on Vulcan where he spends the next seven years growing up with Amanda and Spock. He returns when Winona marries Frank, finally deciding to settle down with her new husband. After Jim drives his father's car off a cliff, Winona sends him to Tarsus IV where he witnesses and survives the genocide and famine. When he returns from Tarsus IV, Jim is sent back to Vulcan where he spends the next five years living with Amanda and Spock. When Spock declines the invite to the Vulcan Science Academy in favor of Starfleet, Jim roams Iowa before being dragged back to his senses by Christopher Pike. This story leads up to and through the events of Star Trek (2009).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The Loss of Half of a Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Kirk/Spock story, actually my first Fandom period. I've been really inspired lately, and came up with what I hope is a great plot. 
> 
> This chapter closely parallels the Kelvin incident, though I've made a number of changes. I'm fairly certain most of the dialogue is mine, though the entire gist of the incident is very similar to what is seen in the movie Star Trek (2009). 
> 
> Note: I do not own Star Trek or any of the characters. If I add a non-canonical character I'll make a note of it somewhere.

They had been friends first, long before Amanda had moved to Vulcan to be with her husband, Ambassador Sarek. Of course Amanda knew all about her issues, all about the problems that Winona was having with George. Amanda was her best friend, even though they were light years away. It had been a thrill to find out that Amanda, Sarek, and their three year old son, S’chn T’gai Spock. Amanda had told her before their arrival on the U.S.S. Kelvin that she didn’t mind Winona calling her son by his last name, since his name was difficult to pronounce. Welcoming them on board the Kelvin the heavily pregnant Winona was not surprised that Amanda scolded her for being up and about.

“You’re six months pregnant. You should be resting. Hell you’re not even supposed to be on the Kelvin!” Amanda spoke softly as soon as she and Winona were safely in her quarters. Winona wasn’t surprised that her friend, who was around stony faced, emotionless Vulcans so much came up with this outburst the moment the door slid shut.

“I know. I’m being transferred to the surface as soon as we hit earth.” Grimacing at the thought Winona settled onto her bed.

“I’m just so annoyed with George sometimes. I can’t believe he slept with Ensign Gray underneath my nose. And, for that matter knocked her up. He didn’t think I was going to see the email that… that whore sent!” Fuming Winona turned and moved to punch something, her anger overwhelmed her.

Amanda slithered her arms around her friend’s waist, “Hush, sweetie. Everything will be alright. He made a mistake, you know that. He knows that. He said it.” Holding her best friend she pressed a kiss to Winona’s tear streaked cheek.

“Sarek and I lost another one.” Murmuring this Amanda rocked gently with Winona’s trembling frame, “Spock is a blessing, and your child is a blessing. Sam is a blessing. Be happy, Winona, that you have a child, that you have a second child. I wish, I have wished, for a second child, for another baby to ho…” Amanda’s words were cut off by Winona.

“Oh darling! You poor dear.” Pulling Amanda towards her, holding her gently around the obscene swell of her belly, she held Amanda to her.

“I’m so sorry. I know how much you wanted that child.” Kissing Amanda’s cheek she held her friend as she cried.

  
XxX

 

It had been three days since Winona and Amanda had cried together, and it had begun just like a normal day. Amanda and Spock had been by her side, since their arrival on the U.S.S. Kelvin. Winona found Spock fascinating, and was presently showing the little boy the inner workings of a phaser. A sudden shock of light flashing through the window of the observation deck. Another tug ran through her gut, her gaze on the monstrous ship emerging from seemingly nowhere. Assuming the tug in her gut was another Braxton Hicks contraction she pulled Spock from the window.

Fear was coursing through her, and she was hurrying through the halls when she felt a wash of fluid down her legs. Not having time to look down and let the fact that she was going to give birth to her second child on a ship that was likely going into crisis mode.

Dragging Spock by the hand she ran with him towards where Amanda was. Finding her friend, Winona found herself crumpling at the feet of her husband and the Vulcan Ambassador Sarek. The growing pain of the contractions, the fright, everything had overwhelmed her, and the last thing she remembered was seeing Sarek staring at her, probably at the blood dripping down her legs. Spock stood quivering by Winona, having picked up on her fear and on pain until the woman he had bonded with over the last few days had collapsed at his feet. He clung to his mother’s leg in fright, his gaze wide and full of fright.

Amanda shrieked when Winona collapsed, clinging to George’s arm. Sarek picked up Winona and carried her to the Med Bay without saying a word, George gazed after his wife wide-eyed and fearful. Maybe he really did care about Winona, even counting his discretions.

Amanda took hold of Spock and gazed at George before speaking softly, “What’s going to happen?” It was too late to pretend that nothing had happened, since the Captain had headed off the ship to talk to the monster ship which had appeared suddenly.

 

XxX

 

“I don’t know, Amanda. I really don’t know.” Gazing out the window he saw the vessel that his Captain was on, explode. He was the Captain now, no longer just the Acting Captain and he needed to protect his family, protect his ship.

 “Go.” Moving from the window to the Captain’s Chair he ordered her to leave him. He knew that he was going to have to order an evacuation. A ship wide evacuation would be the only thing to save them. At least some of them. Hearing the Med Bay calling he turned to them, listening as Winona screamed in the background. She had regained consciousness, and Sarek appeared silently, as always. Looking at the man he considered his friend he nodded grimly to him, speaking gently to Winona. Even after his discretion, he loved her. He had always loved her, she was everything to him, and he never wanted to lose her.

A soft sniffling caught his attention and he turned to look at the source of the sound. It was Amanda, and his heart stilled at the sight of his wife’s best friend in the arms of her husband.

“Amanda, Sarek, you need to go. Both of you do.” Speaking gently he gazed at the pair, their son peeking out from behind them. His heart filled with grief and he looked over the two he considered his friends, he would never see them again. “Get to safety.” Urging this he looked them over and prayed they would go, but Amanda shook her head.

“Winona would never forgive me for leaving you. She lo-”

Her gentle words were cut off by the sound of Winona hollering, he was busy setting course for the monster ship, to delay it or hopefully, though he knew the slim chances he had, to destroy it. The autopilot was almost set.

“Go, I’ll be along in a moment.” At that moment the ship took another hit, shuddering. Sarek was almost out the door when the alert that Autopilot was disabled flashed across the screen. His heart froze, his outlook was grim. It was necessary to do what he could to protect the fleeing escape shuttles, his wife was going to be on one of those shuttles. Sarek moved to be besides him, resting his hand on the Captain’s Chair he sat on.

Gazing at Sarek he could see his determination in his friend’s eyes and he shook his head. No. It couldn’t be. Sarek couldn’t sacrifice himself.

“You have a son. You’re a member of the Vulcan Council. You need to go.” Urging this softly as he looked at the other man he knew that whatever he said was falling on deaf ears. Why Sarek found it his place to sacrifice himself along with him, he would never know. And judging by Amanda’s look of almost pure grief, she knew her husband had made his choice and wasn’t going to unmake it.

“Amanda…” His voice was a painful whisper, his fingers scrambling to mute the microphone that picked up his voice so Winona couldn’t hear him. “Please, protect Winona. Let her know that I love her. Let her know I’m sorry…” Tears trailed down his cheeks, as Amanda gripped her son’s hand and gazed at him solemnly.

“She loves you, George, she always has. But I’ll let her know.” Her words made her feel a little better, a little less like a douchebag for cheating on her. To be honest the entire incident had been an accident, a painful one at that. He had been drugged by Ensign Gray, though he had never reported the incident. It seemed that Ensign Gray only wanted his child, though the thought was painful for him. He wished he had explained to Winona, but he hadn’t. It was too late to tell her the truth now.

Unmuting the microphone he spoke to Winona gently, “I love you.” Secured to his seat he waited for the indication that his wife’s shuttle had left with Amanda and Spock on board.

“Amanda’s here. And Spock too!” Even through her immense pain, Winona managed to speak to him, “You foolish bast-“ Her words were cut off by another contraction. George winced, knowing just why his wife was cursing him off. If he couldn’t be there for her, then Amanda would have to.

“You should be with her. She needs you.” Sarek’s words startled him, and he turned to look at the emotionless mask his friend was wearing.

Looking at his friend he shook his head, “Your wife needs you too.” Arguing back he steeled himself, worried that his friend would nerve pinch him. “I can’t leave a member of my crew to die. I have a family, but so do they. It’s only logical that I protect them. You should go, Sarek.”

Instead of a response, George only heard his wife let loose another string of half curses, her words cut short as she remembered that Amanda and her son were within listening range he assumed.

“The shuttle took of George. Why aren’t we waiting for you?! And where’s Sarek?” Winona’s words were soft, almost too soft for her condition. It was… surprising. He had expected her to yell at him, to curse him out, but instead, he could only hear pain in her voice. Though he opened his mouth, nothing came out, and Sarek spoke for him. “I am fulfilling my promise to you, Winona.”

“No.” The word was half whispered, a new sort of pain had taken over her tone. “You can’t! We need you! It’s a suicide mission!” Shouting at him, George took a deep breath to reply, but a sudden screech cut him off. After a tense moment of waiting, the sound of a baby’s wail filled the comm system of the U.S.S. Kelvin, and a grin broke across his features, his child was born.

“Girl or Boy?” He asked, pride filling his heart, though in his mind he was steeling himself to die.

“Boy. He’s got your eyes.” Winona’s awed response was worth everything to him, and he wished he could be by her side with her, to see his son, to hold him. But that would never happen.

“Name him after my Grandfather.”

“Tiberius? Do you want him to be a laughing stock?”

He smiled, Sarek touching his shoulder gently, whispering too softly for the microphone to pick up, “Go. I can do this.” But George simply shook his head.

“How about James Tiberius Kirk?” Winona’s words cut through the silence, and George looked at Sarek. When the Vulcan nodded, tears in his eyes and a smile on his lips, there was no way he could deny the love of his life the name choice.

“James Tiberius Kirk, welcome to the world.” Speaking to his son he smiled, though the baby would never see him, would never hear his voice. He wouldn’t be remembered. But his son was safe. He would survive.

“I love you Winona. Always and forever.” Speaking softly George moved to end the communication as the Impact Warning flashed on the window in front of him.

“I love you George.” Winona’s reply came the second before he hit end. Glancing at Sarek, the other man’s eyes were closed, either for concentration or out of fear, he didn’t know. But when his eyes opened, the man had tears streaking down his cheeks.

“Impact in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” The electronic voice cut out, as the world went black.

 

XxX

 

Amanda could hear Sarek’s thoughts, and they were… chaotic. It was the only way to describe her husband’s thoughts. She could see conversations with Winona, memories of Spock, and memories of her. She couldn’t make it out. As she hurried to the Medical Shuttle with her son she wondered if he was being subjected to what she was seeing. If he was, he was decent at keeping it to herself.

Finding Medical Shuttle 37, Amanda boarded it with Spock, gripping her son’s hand tightly. As the Medical Shuttle took off she tried not to interrupt Winona’s conversation with her husband, and did her best to block out the screaming from Spock. Busying herself she did what she could to help, though when she heard Sarek speak, not through memories, but in her head, she cringed. Moving away from Winona she found a seat, her body trembling as she settled herself down.

_Good bye Amanda, my love. Good bye._

His words were like a knife to her heart. _Don’t go. Please._

_I promised Winona I would save George no matter what. You know that Ashaya. Please do not cry._

And when she saw out of the shuttle window, the U.S.S. Kelvin explode and felt their bond rend in two, she collapsed.

 

XxX

 

Spock did not understand why everyone was screaming and running around. Whatever was going on it was unpleasant. When he felt Aunty Winona’s fear and pain through their newly formed bond, he began to worry.

Worry was an emotion though. And he was supposed to suppress emotions. So when Aunty Winona collapsed, he bit his tongue and fell silent.

When his parents spoke he tried reaching out to his father, but his father ignored him. _Sa-mekh?_ The young boy cringed and tried not to think about the fact that his father didn’t want to talk to him.

As his mother brought him from the U.S.S. Kelvin’s bridge to where the shuttles were he reached out to his father again.

_Sa-mekh?_

_Yes sa-fu?_

_Is everything going to be alright?_

There was a pause in the response, and he could distantly hear his father’s conversation with George Kirk. The man was arguing, eliciting an emotional response from his sa-mekh. It was unusual for such a thing to happen. In fact, as Spock thought about the concept, he realized his father never expressed emotion.

_S’chn T’gai Spock, taluhk, know that I love you. That I will always love you. I will be with you always. Dif-tor heh smusma._

He did not understand why his sa-mekh was saying this. His gaze was fixated on the window, rather than the bloody birth happening only a few feet away. Until the Kelvin exploded with his father still on board. Aunty Winona’s wail brought his attention to his mother, but then the psychic backlash from the suddenly snapped bond with both his father and the man who he had so recently formed a relationship bond with caused him to collapse. The world went black around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave comments with criticism. I'm also looking for someone to read the chapters before I post them, so if anyone wants to volunteer that'd be great.
> 
> Also, Vulcan-English Translations  
> Ashaya- Love  
> Sa-Mekh- Father  
> Sa-Fu- Son  
> Taluhk- Cherished  
> Dif-tor heh smusma- Live Long and Prosper


	2. Turning Four and Being Sent Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mommy was sad again today. She didn’t like him as much as she liked Sam. He wanted to celebrate, he was getting older and he would get to start school with San this year. But he wasn’t allowed to talk to Mommy about his birthday. Mommy didn’t even want to see him. If it wasn’t for Sam giving him his Birthday punches, he wouldn’t even know it was his birthday. All he knew that he was turning four, and that they had to go to that ceremony.
> 
> XxX
> 
> Winona had always hated the day that Jim was born, though she didn’t know how to explain it to her youngest son. How could she tell him that he was born on the same day his father died?

Mommy was sad again today. She didn’t like him as much as she liked Sam. He wanted to celebrate, he was getting older and he would get to start school with San this year. But he wasn’t allowed to talk to Mommy about his birthday. Mommy didn’t even want to see him. If it wasn’t for Sam giving him his Birthday punches, he wouldn’t even know it was his birthday. All he knew that he was turning four, and that they had to go to that ceremony.

 

XxX

Winona had always hated the day that Jim was born, though she didn’t know how to explain it to her youngest son. How could she tell him that he was born on the same day his father died?

George, despite his indiscretions was her best friend and the love of her life. He meant the world to her. Looking out past the edge of the property she could see the crowds of reporters swarming the street waiting to see the widow of the Hero of Kelvin… Bitterly she composed herself before turning her attention to her sons, “Sam, Jim, come on. We need to get going.”

Reaching out to the two boys, she felt Sam slip his hand into hers, before Jim’s followed shortly after. She cringed. She couldn’t help it, but she cringed anyway. Jim reminded her too much of George. Her heart ached when she thought about her now deceased husband.

When Jim cast his innocent gaze up upon her she couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was too early to drink herself into a stupor. Touching her youngest son’s cheek gently, words she meant to say caught in her throat. Turning to the door she stepped forward, Sam stepping out in front of her defiantly, Jim trailing behind her. The door swung open and she faced the crowds of reporters again.  

“Know that I love you, always.” Speaking the words to Jim, she knew that he words sounded false, but she couldn’t help it. It was all she could say, for the decision she had made, was going to go through with would take him from her. He would be happier away from her.

Stepping through the front door she faced the masses, her gaze clear. When this was all over tonight, when Jim was safely on the shuttle with Amanda and Spock, she would let herself crumble. The façade of strength, of courage could not crumble, not in front of these people who hounded her night and day for the story, the inside scoop on the death of the Vulcan Ambassador and of her husband.

The moment they stepped off their property they were mobbed, though Christopher Pike met them, his security forming around them as a human wall. There was nothing else they could do, the heat of the bodies pressing close, the noise of the reporters shouting questions to her irritated her. Being jostled around she worried that Jim would be crushed, and she swooped down and picked him up, much to the joy of the reporters. Pictures of the pair would be headline of the news tomorrow.

Sitting in the transporter, she could feel Pike’s gaze on her, disapproving. Sam, thankfully was busy playing on his PADD, his attention distracted by the newest game he had downloaded. If there was only a way to talk to Christopher without letting Sam or Jim hear. Jim was curled up on her lap, his head resting upon her breast, and she stroked his hair absently. If she could forget who he looked like, if she could touch him without looking at him the pain wasn’t so bad.

 

XxX

 

“Why are you sending Jim away Winona?” He knew she was expecting his question, how could he not ask it? Jim was his godson, George had made him promise to take care of his family, and he was pretty sure that included not letting Winona abandon Jim. He could see the sense of dread in her gaze and he thought it was almost ironic that she was afraid of this conversation with him.

“I’m not sending him away.” Winona was shaking her head, her voice defiant, even though she wouldn’t look him in the eyes. “Amanda wants him to visit while he’s still young. You know how much she and Sarek wanted more children.”

Her words fell flat, even she could sense that. He wanted to shake sense into her, but now wasn’t the time to fight with her. It would only make things worse for her. He knew how much pain she was in, her relationship had been falling apart with George and she knew some of the last words she had had with her husband had been beyond bitter. He could still hear the echoes of fights they had that his private video chats with them had caught.

“You know that’s an excuse Winona.” Speaking softly he caught her gaze finally and she couldn’t help but look away guiltily. Reaching out he touched her hand, but with the two little boys too close for comfort he knew that it was foolishness to want to pull her into a hug. She was likely to slap him if he even dared to try.

“Enough, Pike.”

Pulling his hand back he sighed, he had hoped to convince her not to go through with this… Idiotic plan of hers. It wasn’t likely to happen, Jim looked too much like George, he knew that, hell he could identify Jim as George’s child without even knowing. Looking up as the transport stopped he stepped out, standing tall, his dress uniform unwrinkled, the crowds pressing in around him. He had hoped that four years after the destruction of Kelvin they would have thinned, but this was perhaps the worst year yet.

 

XxX

Amanda was among those waiting for the emergence of Winona, Jim, and Sam. She was eager, more so than usual, despite the painful memories inspired by today. With Spock standing by her side she tried to forget about the pain and remember how much joy had come into the world on this day. Amanda had always loved Jim, perhaps more than she should, considering he was her godson and not her own child, but he was precious, perhaps for what he had survived, but also because Sarek had told her he had bonded with him before he was even born.

It had been the day of their arrival upon the Kelvin, and she and Winona had finally calmed down when Sarek entered Winona’s quarters. It hadn’t surprised her, she was sure she was projecting her pain loudly, and her husband, the genius, had been worried about her. He had sat beside them on the bed, pulling them into a human style hug. It had surprised her, and his fingers brushed against the bulge of Winona’s belly. His eyes had opened in surprise, the child within her was reaching out to him, almost as if he knew what was going to happen. Sarek hadn’t said anything to Winona then, but she had known that the baby had formed a bond with him then. And then only three days later, everything had fallen apart.

Shaking herself from the memories, she spied Winona approaching, and she rushed to her friend. Her son followed behind her, his face as stony as his father’s. It hadn’t surprised her at all when he had decided to embrace the culture of Vulcan rather than the culture of Earth. She wanted to reach out and touch him, draw her son close as he stood beside her, stony faced and determined to be the representative of his race, despite being half human. Enveloping Winona in her arms, she held her as she felt her friend shake in her arms before her control slipped into place and Winona strode forward ass confidently as ever, Jim in her arms.

 

XxX

  
          Spock did not know quite what to expect with this memorial service. It was the first he had ever attended, his mother had done her best to shield him from them in the past. He understood the logic in keeping him from attending, but this year his mother had insisted. There wasn’t anything different about this year in particular, though it marked the fourth year since the Kelvin had been destroyed. A four year anniversary was nothing special, was it? His research suggested not, that the big years were anniversaries upon the fifth, tenth, fifteenth, and so on.

The big year should be next year, and though he had made it a point to his mother so she wouldn’t bring him to the memorial service and interrupt his classes, he had not prevailed. Instead, she to tell him that this year was different because she was going to return with the boy born the day the Kelvin was destroyed. He didn’t know why the boy was so important. From his calculations, he suspected that among all the planets of the Federation, at least a million children were born each day, though he was pretty sure that the number was larger through the universe.

If about million children were born each day, and half of them were genetically male, at least for the cultures where there were specific gender roles, than why would just one boy be so important? The concept was strange for him, though he wondered if the boy that his mother was talking about was the boy that he had seen being born that day. His eidetic memory allowed him to remember exactly what had happened that day, and he remembered watching the boy emerge into the world. His mother had thought he hadn’t seen, but he couldn’t help but look. After all, it was a scientific experiment to watch the process of birth for a human, and his highly scientific mind had catalogued everything from the process.

His attention was drawn by his mother flying forward to greet her friend, and in his Aunty Winona’s arms was a beautiful little boy. He felt his heart beat shudder, something as very wrong with that. Pressing his hand to his side, he felt his heart pulse beneath the gentle pressure of his fingers. Looking over at the boy he took a step forward, his steps measured and even as he made his way to his mother and Winona. Waiting silently off to the side he kept his carefully schooled features still as he waited.

When Aunty Winona finally noticed him, she greeted him with a cordial nod, and he was surprised, in a sense, when she did no more than that. He had expected her to try to hug him, or at least offer him a handshake. He was mildly relieved that she hadn’t tried, for he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with her. He had only met her once before, and that had been four years prior. It had also been the worst time of his life.

Caught up in his musings he hadn’t noticed that the beautiful boy in Aunty Winona’s arms was heading right for him. His face was carefully schooled, and he neatly sidestepped to avoid the little boy who went racing right past him and into the crowd of reporters before he turned around and came back at him. Spock didn’t know what to say or do, so when Jim came up to him and wrapped him in a hug, he stood stiffly in the embrace.

When the younger boy finally looked up, he found himself staring into the most beautiful eyes. There was no other way to describe them. They were stunning, they were the purest blue, bluer than the blue of a morning glory, bluer than the sea, bluer than the sky. Transfixed by the bright blue gaze Spock found himself slipping his arms around the smaller boy.

“I’m Jim.”

“I know. My full name is S’chn T’gai Spock. If you find the first two parts of my name too difficult to pronounce, which I am sure you will, for you are human, you are welcome to call me Spock.”

Watching Jim wrinkle his nose in frustration as he mouthed his name, he found himself amused. Through the contact he had with Jim he could feel that he was struggling, but before long he could feel the younger boy’s determination.

“Shin Tie Guy Spock?” Jim asked gently, and though the words were similar but not quite the same, he nodded.

“That is an acceptable pronunciation of my name, for my name is unpronounceable for humans.”

The look on Jim’s face made the omission of the complete truth worth it. He had never met an individual who drew him in so rapidly with a magnetic personality. Touching Jim gently he separated the younger boy from him, and looked towards the front. “The memorial service is starting. We need to be quiet.”

Jim nodded and simply stood beside Spock, his little hand reaching for Spock’s larger one. Spock let the younger boy slip his hand into his and he found himself enjoying the touch. It was pleasant, though the little boy’s confusion was almost overwhelming. He had been too young to understand the destruction of the U.S.S Kelvin, and he had subsequently no memories of that time.

As the ceremony drew to a close, Spock found Winona moving in one direction, and Amanda approaching them. He was surprised that Winona was moving to gather her child into her arms, but she was already walking away. Jim was too fixated on a rock upon the ground to notice, and when Amanda scooped Jim into her arms, Spock looked up at her and waited for an explanation. But when none came, and Amanda walked off towards their transport, Spock felt a sense of dread which he banished immediately.

Trailing after Amanda, Spock knew then that this was the boy that they were bringing back to Vulcan with him. He could understand, for while he and Jim had been holding hands he could feel the young boy’s sadness. He could sense that he was unhappy because he made Winona unhappy and when Winona was unhappy, she drank her sorrows away.

Sitting down within the transporter he located the bottle of water he had left behind earlier. Taking a drink he looked over at his mother and he found that Jim was scrambling to sit besides him, the little boy’s thumb was in his mouth, and the swallow of water came spewing back up. Eyes wide he looked over at his mother, who was shaking with barely repressed laughter. The gesture the little boy was making was obscene. Closing his eyes he tried to wipe the imagery from his mind, but, being a Vulcan, he couldn’t. Choosing not to dwell on it, he looked at his mother who had managed to stop laughing.

“It’s a comfort mechanism, Spock. For humans, the hands are not nearly as sensitive as for a Vulcan.” His mother spoke softly as she watched Jim squirm onto his lap as the transport headed towards the space port. Not knowing what else to do, Spock simply wrapped his arms around the young boy. Jim was already settling against him, his head on his shoulder, his eyes drifting closed.

 

XxX

 

As soon as Amanda was sure that Jim was asleep, she opened her mouth to speak to her son about the situation that was unfolding now. It was a highly unusual situation, though so far, Spock had handled the situation with aplomb. It pleased her to see the pair was getting along so well, and she fervently wished that it would continue, for Jim would be remaining with them for an undisclosed amount of time.

“You are doing well, Spock, handling this situation. I know I did not do a good job explaining what is going on before we left home to come to the Kelvin Memorial Service. I hope to rectify that now.”

“Of course, mother, it is only right to explain now.” Amanda winced at her son’s words. Though his tone was without emotional inflection, she couldn’t help but feel the sting of his words. She should have told him sooner, but she couldn’t face the conversation.

“Jim was born the day that your father died. When your father died, so did his. They stood side by side that day, fighting to protect us. I don’t know how much you remember of the day that the USS Kelvin was destroyed, but Jim was born that day as we fled the wreckage.”

          “I remember that day mother, I have an eidetic memory. I remember everything.” Amanda smiled faintly, her eyes filled with a sadness he had seen before, and he wanted to take back his words.

          “I know, Spock, I just hoped you didn’t remember that day. Jim here looks very much like his father, George, and Winona has trouble dealing with the fact that her son looks so much like her wayward husband. It pains her to remember George, and I think, Jim makes it difficult for her to grieve for him properly. Winona loved George very much, as much as I love your father, but when they died, there were a number of issues. I think Winona regrets that they never sat down and talking about what was going on.” Amanda paused, composing herself. “I offered our home for Jim as a place she could send him for a time. I don’t know how long he’ll be with us, but she needs time to grieve. And Jim needs a place to live where the sins of the father aren’t visited upon the son.”

          Spock was speechless. What could he say, for he had no idea that was why Jim was so sad. Holding the little boy who would be his little brother, he gave the boy a gentle squeeze, “I understand mother. I will do my best to make Jim feel loved and well.”

          Amanda could not ask for more than that. “Would it be alright, if I kissed your cheek, Spock?”

          “That would be acceptable mother.” His words buoyed her spirit further and she leaned across the transport and kissed his cheek gently just as the transport slowed to a halt.

 

XxX

 

          When he woke up, everything was different. There was nothing that he really recognized, except for the boy he was curled up on. Shin Tie Guy Spock was holding him in his arms and when he moved off the older boy, he looked at the woman sitting across from them.

          “Hello Sunshine.” The woman spoke with a smile, and little Jim couldn’t help but smile. She was much more pleasant than Winona was. As she stepped out of the transport, Jim followed suit, and Spock was right after him. Reaching for Spock’s hand he let himself be led as their baggage was brought from the transport and towards the shuttle they were heading towards.

          “Where’s Mommy? Where’s Sam? Where are we going?” His eyes were wide as they boarded the shuttle and he didn’t see Mommy or Sam anywhere. Tears began to fall from his eyes as Amanda scooped him into her arms, “Hush, baby, your Mommy and Sam are staying on Earth. Mommy wants you to learn about Vulcan, where we live. You’re going on a vacation. Would you like that?”

          Bouncing slightly, Jim calmed down as Amanda spoke to him, “Yes.” Looking at her, he was reassured that Mommy and Sam would be waiting for him when he came back. Settling into his seat on the shuttle he looked over at Spock who was seated beside him. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what, so he simply squirmed in his seat.

          “Why are you squirming?” Spock asked him shortly, and Jim grinned, looking at the older boy.

          “I’m bored. Isn’t there anything to do?”

          “We will be on the shuttle for the next forty-five minutes at Warp 6. Surely you can keep yourself entertained for the time it takes to get to Vulcan?”

          “No. That’s boring.”

          Amanda dug through her purse and produced Jim’s PADD. “Here, Jim, why don’t you play a game?”

          A very excited Jim took the PADD and promptly found himself playing virtual chess. After a while he found that Spock was looking over his shoulder, and he turned his head to look at the older boy, “Are you bored too?”

          Spock shook his head, “Negative. I just wanted to know if you wanted to have an actual partner, rather than face the simulated partner.”

          Jim paused for a moment, “I would find that acceptable. But you’re just going to beat me. I’m not very good yet. I just started to teach myself to play yesterday.”

          Spock’s eyes widened imperceptibly, “When we arrive on Vulcan, if you would like, I would be willing to teach you chess.”

          Jim nodded eagerly, before resuming his game, his pudgy children’s fingers poking the virtual pieces and moving them randomly. Spock could tell it was truly his first, or at least close to his first time playing. Amused with how Jim was playing, Spock spent the rest of the shuttle ride watching.

 

XxX

 

          When the shuttle doors opened, the first thing that Jim noticed was the heat. He was sweating the moment the heat hit him. Spock seemed to revel in the heat, and when he took the older boy’s hand, he felt how cold he was. It was strange, for he had assumed that the cold hands the boy possessed was simply a factor of being cold. But here he couldn’t possibly be cold. The desert planet of Vulcan was stifling and just as soon as they could they got into a transport and were soon driving into the city of Shi’Khar.


	3. Abandonment Issues? There's No Such Thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's first couple of days on Vulcan.
> 
> Then it was a blur. A film on fast forward, and he struggled against it. Throwing himself at walls, at everything, just desperate fright. Until he was too weary to pick himself up, until his voice cracked from shouting and screaming, collapsing at Spock’s side, clinging to the motionless boy. Then he was picked up gingerly, and though he clung to Spock, he was pulled away. There was commotion, he was being brought away. Someone held him. He didn’t know who. He was numb in shock, in pain. He had killed Spock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I'm so sorry this chapter was late. I've been crazy busy, and then, when I tried to start it, I had nothing to say. But once I got going, well, it really got rolling. This chapter is by far the longest chapter that I've written. I do hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm hoping I can post at least a chapter a week, maybe two, but we'll see.

The entire ride in the transport, he had the distinct pleasure of acting as a seat to the young Jim. Though Vulcans preferred not to have contact with anyone, he had found that it was easy to let the young boy close to him. It did not bother him that Jim was constantly by his side, and it did not seem to bother his mother that Jim was so close. In fact, she seemed pleased with the arrangement. He wanted to ask her why, but Jim was sleeping again. The young boy seemed to have a propensity for sleeping, though perhaps it had nothing to do with his general inclinations. As he understood, Jim was barely past the age in which he would be considered a toddler, so perhaps it had more to do with his age and the numerous major events than it had to do with his natural inclinations.

As the transport drew closer to Shi’Khar, Spock found his attention directed more towards planning and adjusting his schedule for Jim’s presence than the familiar scenery that passed outside the window. His gaze was fixated upon the top of Jim’s head, and when he finally looked up from his thoughts, he found his mother smiling at him, or perhaps at the picture he presented. Before he could spend the proper amount of time turning the thought over in his mind, the imposing building which was the place he called home appeared on the horizon.

Despite his father’s death, the house of Sarek had remained wealthy and influential, even despite his mixed blood. At seven years of age, he was familiar with the stigma of impure blood, and he had felt the impact of it at school each day, faced by bullies who were both older and bigger than he. Facing the bullies didn’t bother him nearly as much as hearing the unsavory words that they called him and his mother. He, despite his training to suppress his emotions, found it difficult to do so when his mother was called the Vulcan equivalent of a whore.

The thought made him tense up, his perfect posture becoming even stiffer and straighter, until a soft murmuring sounded from just below his chin. Turning his gaze down he softened his posture, allowing himself the distinct luxury of allowing his posture to slip away. Jim had been jostled by his sudden straightening, and he gently touched the younger boy’s cheek. He could sense his thoughts, though only shadows of them. His own abilities as a touch-telepath were not as developed as an adult Vulcan’s.

He could sense shadows of thoughts and feelings, but he had yet to learn how to meld with another sentient being. It was not unusual, however, for all Vulcans had to learn telepathy, had to improve on their skills just as with any other subject of study. Though he was a natural at dealing with his telepathy, he still had a lot to learn. Touching Jim’s shoulder gently he spoke aloud for the first time since they had entered the transport, “Jim, we have almost arrived at the house of Sarek.” His quiet voice broke the stillness in the cab, for not a word had passed between any of the members within the cabin.

 

XxX

 

Hearing Spock’s quiet voice, Jim lifted his head, blinking wearily. The trip had been taxing for him, in fact the entire day had. He still wasn’t entirely sure why he was curled up on a cold surface half sitting up until he remembered exactly where he was. He was on _Vulcan_ with a Vulcan and a human. Looking about him he spied the giant house, if that was what he could call it, approaching rapidly. It was only a two or three minute trip to get there from their current position, he supposed. Looking out the window the little boy spied Shi’Khar in the distance. The house was on the outskirts of the city, though he could still see the outlines of the buildings in the city clearly. It wasn’t too far away, he supposed, perhaps only a ten minute transport ride from the house to the city.

Glancing about the cabin of the transport, he found that it was rather plain, much like any other transport. He hadn’t paid enough attention to who was driving the transport, having been too distracted and overwhelmed by the enormous changes that he was in the midst of. His gaze landed upon a woman, and he offered her a shy smile, which she returned. He didn’t remember her name, but he found himself remembering that she was kind to him where his mommy was not. She didn’t seem so upset that he had been born, instead she seemed pleased to have him around. She had called this a vacation, though he didn’t know what a vacation was, he found himself eager to find out.

His squirming brought to his attention, again, that he wasn’t sitting on a seat, but rather upon a curious young Vulcan. Shin Tie Guy Spock. That was his name. Smiling at the solemn face he poked the boy gently, “Where are we going?”

“We are going home.” The response came after a moment’s hesitation, and as the transport drew nearer, Jim felt excited. He wanted to know all about where he was going, though there wasn’t time to ask questions now, he supposed, for the transport turned into the long drive leading up to the house.

As the transport eased to a halt, Jim cast his gaze about himself curiously, his bright blue eyes drinking in each new sight. The house was palatial, crafted exquisitely by hand he assumed, for the house bore the mark of age, though it did not appear dilapidated. The house looked worn, but it was beautiful, and when the transport’s doors opened, the woman stepped out into the oppressive heat, and he crawled of Spock’s lap before stepping outside into the bright Vulcan sun.

The moment that Spock had joined them in the warmth, he reached for the Vulcan’s hand and gripped it tightly as the woman turned to Spock and spoke, “Why don’t you show Jim around the house while I go make up his room?” Though her words were phrased as a question, Jim had the sneaking suspicion that her words were more of an order.

“Of course, mother, it would be my pleasure to introduce Jim to our humble abode.”

Jim couldn’t tell if Spock was being serious about the house being humble, or if he was merely downplaying the vast wealth that he seemed to come from. Either way, they were moving towards the giant building and up the stairs. He was panting and out of breath from just the effort that it took to climb the stairs. While the woman seemed in better shape, he was struggling. He felt hot and heavy, and he was having trouble breathing, but soon they were within the house, and it was icy cold in comparison to the stifling heat.

Walking just a little ways inside, he found himself looking up at a tall Vulcan man who was looking down at him imperiously. Moving to press close to Spock Jim found that Spock had left him, that he was no longer by his side. A momentary feeling of panic overwhelmed him, and he cringed away as the man spoke.

“Mistress Amanda, Master Spock, and Master James I presume, welcome home.” Mistress? Master? Wasn’t slavery banned in the Federation? He had thought such at least. Turning to look for Spock he found the older boy was taking off the jacket he had been wearing, and was putting on another one. Wrinkling his nose, for he liked the feeling of the cold on his skin he looked up and down at the Vulcan who seemed to be waiting for something.

“Thank you, Stonn. If you would, please give Master James a hypo of Tri-ox. He seems to be struggling.” Amanda had simply nodded to the Vulcan before proceeding up a flight of stairs and down a hallway. Jim watched her go.

“I apologize for any discomfort that you may Master James. It is not my intention to hurt you.” The Vulcan was leaning over him with a hypo in his hand.

“I don’t want it.” He was backing away, but the Vulcan clamped his hand on his shoulder. And Jim found himself trapped.

“It will help you breath, Master James. And it will make it easier for you to live here.” Stonn was, of course, familiar with injecting hypos, for Mistress Amanda needed a hypo once a day, but he didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t his place to ask either, though he had his suspicions.

“I dislike hypos as well, Jim. But they are logical solutions. They are quick and nearly painless, unlike many of the barbaric ancient practices.” As Spock was speaking he felt a quick jab at the side of his neck and then the Vulcan, Stonn, was moving away from him. He found that it was instantly easier to breathe, and when he turned to look at Spock, the older boy was taking his hand.

Stonn’s eyes had widened and he looked, scandalized. If not completely affronted by the sight. But then Spock was tugging his hand and he headed after him, interlacing their fingers as they moved through the house, Spock gently drawling on about the house.

“This is the entrance way, Jim, and it leads to Father’s study, upstairs, and to the general living areas of the house. Father’s study is off limits since he died, Jim, we do not go in there. Mother has not opened the door since we returned from Earth.”

“Just past the study is the drawing room, at least, that is the term by human standards. Though the exact origin of this label is a mystery. We simply entertain guests there, though they are few and far between. Shall we go upstairs? I presume you do not need to see the kitchen or the dining room, since I am sure that dinner shall be prepared momentarily.”

And then they were heading up the stairs, Spock’s larger stride meant he had to take two steps for each of Spock’s and he found himself stumbling along behind him. It seemed to hit Spock all at once, that he was moving too quickly, his pace too fast for Jim on his stubby little legs, and he slowed down. “Are you alright Jim?” He asked, his gaze turning to look at him as they continued up the stairs. Slowly they reached the top, “I’m fine.”

“Fine is an ambiguous word, Jim, there’s more than one definition for fine.” Spock should have sounded imperious, but he only sounded worried. Jim looked up, “I’m just great.” Replying this gently, Jim gave Spock’s hand a squeeze as Spock directed his attention to the first room upstairs.

“This Jim, is the library. Though it is two stories tall, you enter on the second floor. The first floor are all books on obscure topics that were simply for Father’s studies. There is a second entrance, on the first floor, but that is through Father’s study, which we do not enter. Would you like to see it?”

 

XxX

 

Spock was finding it curiously pleasant to hold Jim’s hand. He liked the feeling of Jim’s smaller hand in his own, and he turned his gaze upon the younger boy as he spoke.

“I would like that. I like reading.” Spock was mildly surprised that he knew how to read already, for humans didn’t usually learn until they were older at least that was what he had read. Jim was a constant surprise for him, and he nodded, keying open the door. The library wasn’t locked, but the door remained closed anyway.

“Then you may take any book you would like to read. Though many are in the Vulcan language, there are many that are in standard. I would not be opposed to teaching you how to speak and read the language so you may explore those books as well.”

As the door slid open, Jim let go of Spock’s hand and the young boy rushed into the room. His eyes were wide and bright, and he was almost bouncing in excitement. “I’ve never seen so many books in one place before.” Peering between the posts of the balcony, Spock watched Jim as he saw the chess set. It was an antique set which had beautifully hand carved pieces, the white made out of marble, and the black, out of obsidian. The board itself was made out of abalone and onyx, an untraditional mix, but it had been a gift to his father by his mother.

“That, Jim, will be the board we will be playing on eventually. But I would propose that we work on a more modern board at the moment. If you would like, we can go see the chess board now.”

He could see Jim’s excitement as Jim turned towards the stairs, practically racing down them. Spock followed at a more leisurely pace, though he was ready to lunge forward to save Jim from a nasty fall should he stumble. He didn’t feel the need to keep pace with him, and Jim didn’t look like he wanted him to. But the moment his feet touched the first floor, Spock saw Jim freeze in place. He stood there staring ahead at the chessboard, a half smile on his face, but he seemed… Reverent.

“Jim?” His voice shattered the momentary silence, having paused the moment Jim halted his headlong rush. The younger boy was still just standing there, staring, and as Spock covered the remaining gap between them, he finally turned to face him, and Spock was stunned by the tears in his eyes.

“Jim…” Speaking softly he reached out for the boy, offering him comfort, though he had little idea as to how to give it to him. Vulcans did not need to be comforted, but humans did. He had seen, of course, his mother follow the same course of action in dealing with a distraught Winona, and he remembered, that Winona had done the same thing for Amanda when Sarek had died, Winona had hugged him too, and he had allowed it sure that in her grief she had forgotten he disliked being touched.

When Jim melted into him he tightened his arms around the young boy and held him close. It was strange, that being so close to him didn’t bother him. And even though he could feel the tangle of emotions that Jim was holding inside him, it didn’t irritate him as his mother would have done.

“What is wrong, Jim?” He didn’t get a response, not that he had expected to get one, but it would have been nice. Turning his gaze about the room, he zeroed in on the portrait upon the wall. It had been done at the time of his parent’s wedding. Winona and George Kirk stood next to Sarek and Amanda. And they were happy. In the background of the photo he could see the shadowy image of the U.S.S. Kelvin the ship that had brought a happy Winona and George to the wedding.

“She was never that happy with me. She blamed me for his death. She said I haunted her like his ghost.” The voice that replied to him was broken. “She said I looked too much like him.”

Jim drew away, and there was a sudden emptiness in his arms, and then Jim’s angry gaze met his, “Do I look like him?”

Casting his gaze to the portrait on the wall, and then upon Jim he hesitated, “To a degree, you do Jim. I hypothesis that you look like your father did when he was a child. I see no reason, however, for your mother to feel as if you were at fault for your father’s death. It is as much my fault as it is yours.”

He must have said something wrong, for Jim closed up, his jawline tightening, gaze defiant. “That’s what she always says, that it’s not my fault, that I’m just too perceptive for my own good. But I know she blames me. She always blamed me.”

And then he was shoving past, heading up the stairs, seeking something. Unsure of where Jim was going, Spock turned and hurried after the younger boy.

“Where am I staying?” Jim’s voice came from just around the corner of one of the bookshelves, his arms already full of books, some in Vulcan and some in Standard.

“Shall we begin with a chess lesson, or a Vulcan lesson?” It was amusing to see, the little boy carrying books Spock had read. He was struggling under the weight and then the books were in Spock’s arms.

“Vulcan.” The response was immediate. And again, not what he had predicted. He had predicted there was a 95.79% chance that Jim would prefer to learn chess, especially after watching Jim’s reaction to the chess board. He wanted to be more specific, but, it was Jim they were talking about. He was quite unpredictable. As his mother would say, “he zigged when he should have zagged, and zagged when he should have zigged.”  It was a confusing saying.

“Of course Jim, Shall we retire to my room for a time? I’m sure that you’ll find Vulcan is a difficult language to learn, but it may be useful for the duration of your stay.”

 

XxX

 

Spock’s words were surprising to Jim. The duration of his stay… How long was he supposed to stay here? Was he going to be here for the rest of his life? He wanted to learn his language so he could make feel Spock feel comfortable. He could sense, more than see that Spock tended to freeze up on him. Like he didn’t know what to do.

It was strange, though not unsettling. Jim enjoyed the feeling of catching Spock off balance, which was immediately recognizable after he chose to learn Vulcan before chess. But then he could hear his name being called, and Spock’s. And he was off, heading down the hall towards the sound of his name.

Spock was following him, though he couldn’t hear the Vulcan boy. He was too quiet, too quiet for a seven year old boy. And then, suddenly, he was falling. He hadn’t been paying attention, his little legs carrying him down the stairs faster than he could manage. Tumbling. Hand, arm, head, back. He couldn’t stop, but he could feel each hard bounce. Adrenaline surged through him, and the pain numbed. Each bump stopped hurting. He felt them, but he was numb to the pain.

There was a thump. And then, there were arms around him, and a cold body curling around him. Arms surrounding him, and then, as soon as the fall started, their forward momentum had stopped. He tried to move, tried to see, but all he could see was blood. Green blood.

“Spock.”

“SPOCK.“

His mouth wasn’t quite working, or maybe it was. The rushing in his ears didn’t help him. He couldn’t hear. No, that wasn’t true. He could hear, but everything was drowned out by the rushing.

Then it was a blur. A film on fast forward, and he struggled against it. Throwing himself at walls, at everything, just desperate fright. Until he was too weary to pick himself up, until his voice cracked from shouting and screaming, collapsing at Spock’s side, clinging to the motionless boy. Then he was picked up gingerly, and though he clung to Spock, he was pulled away. There was commotion, he was being brought away. Someone held him. He didn’t know who. He was numb in shock, in pain. He had killed Spock.

Amanda wouldn’t want him now. He had messed everything up. She’d send him home right away. His eyes wide in fright, his voice rising. He was screaming and crying. But he didn’t know what he was saying. All he felt was a paralyzing fear. And then a pinpoint of pain in his neck.

The world went black.

When his eyes finally opened he was in a sterile white room, it was too warm for him. He tried to sit up, though he hurt all over. But he found that he couldn’t move an inch. Checking himself he tugged at one wrist. It didn’t move. He was restrained. He didn’t know why. Something beeped above his head, but he couldn’t see what.

“Spock…” He couldn’t see his friend. Spock was his friend, after all, he had been there when no one else had. So he was his only friend. He didn’t hear another person breathing. He didn’t hear anything.

Straining all his senses he tried to find the sound of Spock’s incredibly soft breathing, but there was nothing. His voice lifted, “Spock!” A wail burst forth from his lips and then the door slid open. The hiss was unmistakable, he could hear it though it was quieter than his cry.

“Master James, Master Spock is fine. There was minor damage to his nasal structure, but it has been repaired and Master Spock is in a healing trance.” Jim didn’t understand. But then cool hands were at his wrists and unbinding him, then at his ankles, and though he hurt, he forced himself to sit up.

“Take me to him.”

“As you wish, Master James. But Master Spock will not be able to answer you, Master James. He is in a healing trance.” Stonn didn’t understand that Jim did not comprehend just what a healing trance was. He kept speaking, “Master Spock is just this way. Shall I carry you? Master James? I calculate a 99.95% probability that you are quite sore from your fall.”

A nod would suffice, though it hurt. “Yes.” His voice was weak, croaking out between pitifully dry lips. His mouth tasted stale. He didn’t really like it at all. But then he was in Stonn’s arms and they were moving through the halls. The Vulcan was gentle with him, though he was uncomfortable being so close to Stonn. The older Vulcan was frightening, though he doubted that he would hurt him. Even so, he was less comfortable with Stonn than he had been with Spock.

Suddenly he was placed down, and Stonn was moving away. He was on a bed, and Spock looked dead. Pressing to his friend’s side, he listened to the beating of his heart, and felt the powerful muscle contract beneath his ear. Spock was alive, but he was so still.

Slipping his arms around his friend the overwhelming panic he had been feeling began to recede and he found himself slipping into a deep sleep. He didn’t even awaken when Amanda entered the room and placed blankets over the sleeping pair.

 

XxX

 

 

He woke up with arms around his waist, a head pressed to his side just beside his heart. His eyes slid open slowly, his whole body hurt, as he had been 100% sure of. When he had seen Jim start to fall he knew that his mother would be furious if he didn’t try to stop Jim from falling. He had dropped the books. Things didn’t matter, people did. And then he had rushed after Jim. By then Jim was already falling and Spock had launched himself head first after the younger boy. And he knew that he was going to feel pain, and lots of it.

He just hadn’t expected to lose consciousness. Or spend twenty four hours in a healing trance. Jim had been with him for the last twelve hours. He was both glad and distraught by the fact that he had been with him.

“Jim?” Looking down at the blonde head, Spock found the beautiful blue eyes peering up at him. Jim clung to him, his arms wrapped tightly about his frame, and he found himself gently resting his hand on the younger boy’s back.

“I thought you were dead!” Jim’s voice was accusatory, his gaze narrowing, he was sure that Jim would be likely to hit him. He seemed furious, but instead of attacking him, Jim was trembling in his arms. Spock struggled to sit up, pulling Jim into his lap.

“I was not dead Jim, I had entered a healing trance. When I dived after you, I hit my head quite hard. I managed to catch you, and halt our fall, but I ended up knocking myself out.” Jim tightened his arms around his waist.

“You looked dead.”

“I was not dead.” Spock gritted his teeth. “I already told you that once. Repeating myself is useless.”

You looked dead.”

“James, I am here with you now. I assure you, I’m not dead.”

To think that Jim would be so upset to think he was dead… Guilt settled upon his heart and he looked at him curiously. He wasn’t quite sure why Jim was so upset, but he brushed his mind against Jim’s, and tried to focus. Using his telepathic abilities like this was generally considered a waste, but he couldn’t help it. His friend was upset, and he was going to make it better.

If only he could pinpoint why exactly Jim was upset. He could sense fear, but it was vague, and he sighed. “Are you afraid of something Jim?”

Jim spoke softly, as if he was afraid that Spock was going to judge him. “I am afraid you are going to leave me like everyone else has left me. Please don’t leave me.”

“I will not leave you Jim.” He wouldn’t, he had let him fall, and he needed to fix it. He would do anything to fix their relationship. “I will always be here for you no matter what. As Vulcans favor logic Jim, it is logical to promise you that for the unknown duration of your stay upon Vulcan in the House of Sarek, you will always be welcome at my side. ”

Only when Jim settled down and was fast asleep did Spock allow himself to meditate upon his guilt.

He could have done many things to stop Jim from falling, he could have made Jim walk with him down the stairs. But he had let Jim go ahead, he had taken too long to drop the books. He hadn’t seen it coming when he should have. And he had taken too long to go after Jim. Jim had spent his day curled up beside him when he was in a healing trance. Jim had thought he was dead. Jim had thought he was leaving him, just as everyone else had left Jim. He knew that it would break his mother’s heart if she knew just how poorly Jim thought of others, that he would be so afraid that he was going to be left behind again, that Jim had panicked.

Reaching for his PADD Spock resolved to spend the rest of the time reading Jim’s medical files. What he found was disturbing. Jim had been so distraught that majority of his injuries were caused by his violent outburst.

Vulcans must control their emotions.

Looking out at the moon’s bright glow Spock allowed himself to pass from his meditative state into a state of refreshing slumber.

 

XxX

 

When Jim awoke, Spock was shaking his shoulder gently. He was smiling at him, so he hadn’t messed up too badly. And then he remembered Spock’s words from the previous night, for the sunlight was bright through the windows.

“You will always be besides me?” His voice was quiet and contemplative as he asked Spock if what he meant last night had remained true. And when Spock gave his hand a squeeze and nodded, he curled tightly to him and held him close. The door hissed open and Stonn was there, and he was smiling, “I’ve come to take you back to your home, Master James, Master Spock. I sent Mistress Amanda home earlier, I do hope you don’t mind, Masters James and Spock, for she spent the entire night sitting vigil besides your bed.”

“It is of no consequence.”  So Spock said, but his tone was displeased and his hand tightened about Jim’s as he registered the information.

Jim nodded, rising quickly out of the bed, wincing as he felt his body groan under him, stiff and sore from the fall. Spock took a significantly longer time to get up. The entire time Jim clung to Spock’s hand, his gaze looking up at the older boy, as Spock readied himself the best that he could with only one hand.

At last, after what seemed like an eternity, they were moving along the halls following behind Stonn who was deftly making his way through the hospital. Soon they were emerging out into the oppressive Vulcan sun which gave Jim a slight pause as he readjusted to the heat. Holding Spock’s cool hand helped though.

They weren’t that far from the House of Sarek, and they arrived only a few minutes after they left the hospital. Spock held his hand as they made their way up the stairs. You couldn’t see Spock’s blood anymore, but Jim knew it had been there. Spock’s nose was even set completely straight. It looked like all traces were gone.

Spock was tugging his hand, and he followed obediently through another door, a different door. It was Spock’s room. And it was practically empty. There as nothing fun, nothing interesting. It simply was.

It irked him, but he was tired and he wasn’t going to argue with Spock. Making his way to the bed, Jim crawled under the covers and collapsed. It wasn’t long before Spock joined him. The cool body of his best and only friend kept it just cool enough that he would be able to sleep under the heavy blankets.

The next time he awoke was to a buzzing from the door. He rolled over and went back to sleep. At least he did until a kiss was placed upon his forehead. Eyes widening he looked up and caught the gaze of Amanda. “It is almost dinner time.”

Nodding he looked at her, and then Spock who was already awake, looking at him with a hint of warmth through the general expressionless façade. Pressing closer to the older boy he looked at Amanda with serious, dark eyes, the bright cerulean blue was muted and dull. His expression waivered and his hand found Spock’s again before he spoke softly, his voice was laced with worry.

“How long will I be staying here? Is Mommy going to come for me after she stops being sad? Or will I be here forever? Did Mommy leave me?”

 

XxX

 

Amanda’s heart broke at little Jim’s words, and she reached out to touch the boy, to comfort, but he drew away from her. “I’m sorry, Jim, but I don’t know.”

When he turned from to slip his little arms around Spock burying his face in the shallow of Spock’s clavicle, she saw her son hug him, something that she hadn’t experienced in months, a tear slipped down her cheek. Turning away, she headed to her room to do some simple mending, she needed to hold herself together, to be strong for them.

She just couldn’t look at Jim right then, not the way he was so heart broken. But when she got to her room her PADD was blinking, and she activated it. A message was waiting for her. Flipping on the hologram she came face to face with a recorded hologram of Admiral Pike.

“Dearest Amanda, Winona has been doing well. I hope this message finds you in good health as well. First, of course, I must ask after Jim. I do hope he is doing well on Vulcan? And how is Spock of course? Are they doing well together? Will Jim be taking classes with Spock?”

Amanda paused the message, a half smile gracing her features. Of course Chris would be worried about Jim and Spock, of their educations and their wellbeing. She would have to take some time to reply, for though the situation wasn’t terrible, they had both been injured and they were both recovering. Spock was perhaps better off than Jim, but she saw the way her boy looked at Jim, as if he was a fragile glass which would break if he so much as touched him. Spock blamed himself for Jim’s fall, though it wasn’t his place to. He hadn’t been told to watch the four year old. She should have been paying more attention, should have realized that Jim was an eager, bright little boy who would get himself into trouble. There were a lot of things that she should have done that she hadn’t. But it was past now. She couldn’t change what she had done, and what she hadn’t. A different choice could have prevented the incident, but she had made the choice she had made, and they had both fallen. It wasn’t so bad, that they were still in the hospital, but they were still sore and hurting. She suspected that most of Spock’s difficulties at the moment were coming from a very un-Vulcan wave of guilt, though he was acting less detached than he usually did when feeling guilty. He wasn’t pulling away from Jim when Jim went to him to give him a hug, nor did he act as if Jim repulsed him. Instead, Jim had become his constant companion, so much so that she was always calling for JimSpock or SpockJim than Jim and Spock and Spock and Jim. It pleased her immensely. She knew what she would say to Chris, and she immediately began composing her response.

“Dear Christopher, I am pleased to hear from you. I shall answer your questions in just moment, but of course, I have questions I must ask of you as well.” She paused, her gaze distant, as she thought of her friend.

“Is Winona doing better? Jim misses her I think, he’s worried she’s abandoned him. I am trying to reassure him, though it is quite difficult to. He is not inconsolable, however, he is certainly, worried that she will forget about him. As for Jim and Spock, well there is some news of them, but it is not all good. On the first day here, Jim fell down a flight of stairs, and Spock dove after him. While both of them are relatively uninjured, Spock lost consciousness and broke his nose, while Jim was badly bruised. Both are well on their way to recovery, though they have become inseparable. I am unable to call just Jim or Spock, it must now be ‘JimandSpock’ or ‘SpockandJim’ or even ‘JimSpock’. I’m sure you get my point. They get along very well together, I must say I am surprised how close they have become. In such a short time it is wonderful to see them interacting.” Pausing the recording she began the rest of Christopher’s message. Whatever she had expected, she hadn’t expected the next words out of his mouth.

“There is the possibility that both George and Sarek did not die.”

Her heart stopped beating in her chest, her gaze wide and she stared ahead at the hologram.

“At least not completely.”

She paused the hologram, her gaze wide in shock. She had felt Sarek die, all of them had. How could he still be alive? Or at least part of him still be alive. Trembling she added to her reply.

“You can’t tell me that through a hologram. You should have come and said that to my face. You really think you can get away with telling me through a hologram Chris? You’re in huge trouble.”

She could see that she was visibly shaking, there was nothing that made sense anymore. Sarek had died. It was a factual thing. He had died a long time ago. He had died when he had stayed aboard the Kelvin and she had not.

He did it for a reason of course, beyond just his promise to Winona. It had become clearer when she had realized the last thing he had done was implant a memory in her head of why. It was something that wasn’t supposed to be done, especially for a psi-null species. But she understood his gesture.

Sarek hadn’t wanted her to live with the guilt of not stopping him, and in his last moments he had sent her something like a sort of a last will. The thought made her groan and bury her head in her hands. She had hated the message, the last message from the love of her life had been so… depressing. She would have preferred that he hadn’t do what he had, but she had a sneaking suspicion that even if she did convince him that it was a poorly planned idea, he would still go through with it.

His actions had been for the sake of the crew lost when the Kelvin was attacked, and for those who would have to deal with the dangerous ship that had emerged from the black hole. Whatever it was, it was still being sought after.

Collecting herself she pressed play again, and the frozen Commander Pike was suddenly active again.

“I can’t explain over hologram message, too many classified files, too many little ears listening in. We need to meet to discuss this, Amanda, as soon as possible. This is something that could change everything. We’re not even sure if they did survive, but if they did we don’t know how to get them out of their stasis. We’re still trying to wrap our minds around this all.”

The message ended there. Something had probably called him away, Admiral Chrisptopher Pike was a very busy man after all. She would meet with him as soon as she could, considering she had a very frightened Jim worried about people leaving him on her hands.

Though she was sure that he was more worried about being abandoned by Spock than she, she didn’t want to upset him unduly. It was time to plan, and for now, to eat dinner. Collecting herself she made her way downstairs, pleased to find Spock and Jim already eating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Please leave comments, I'd love to hear what you would like to happen. I can't guarantee that I'll add everything suggested, but I'd love some of your ideas.


	4. Eye Chi Ah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim meets I-Chaya for the first time. And Spock rejects Jim accidentally.

 It had been during dinner that the first hints that something else lived in the House of Sarek. The muffled roaring, grunting sounds that greeted Jim’s ears drew his attention towards the outside. Despite being at the house for nearly four days, he had seen very little of his new surroundings. When he had first arrived, of course, he had done little exploring. And four days had passed already, and Jim knew less of his surroundings than he should have.

He had been distracted by the events that had occurred of late and had been in a less than optimal position to spend time to explore and learn about his surroundings. It had been to his great surprise that a giant bear-like creature had batted gently at the door and sat waiting for someone to let him in.

“What is that thing?” The words burst forth from Jim’s lips before he had a chance of stopping them. Flushing in embarrassment, Jim looked over at Amanda who smiled at him warmly. Despite the formality of the meal, with Amanda present, and the entire staff in waiting, Amanda seemed to encourage the inquiry, and she seemed prepared to answer his outburst. But it was Spock who answered first, and his succinct response left Jim’s head reeling.

“That thing is a living breathing being, Jim.” Amanda’s soft laugh echoed in the almost silent dining room, and Jim felt a flash of heat color his cheeks. Looking down at his plate, he focused on pushing around the food on his plate in neat, concentric circles.

A cool hand touched his arm, and he looked up, and found himself eye to eye with Spock. Jim hesitated, placing his fork down, nervously inching away from Spock, though his hand remained very firmly trapped beneath Spock’s. His gaze darted around the room and it seemed no one was watching him, at least not as closely as he believed them to be. When his gaze cast over Amanda, the woman offered yet another reassuring smile. Perhaps she hadn’t meant to laugh at him for his question. Maybe she was laughing about something else. Finally he met Spock’s gaze, and the older boy smiled. It was a strange expression on the often expressionless face, and Jim wasn’t quite sure he liked it, but he didn’t bother saying anything. Besides, if Spock was touching him, he was sure that the older boy wasn’t mad at him.

“I should have been more descriptive in my explanation to you Jim. I apologize. Would you like me to expand on my explanation of what you claimed was a thing?” Confusion flickered in Jim’s eyes and he hesitated before nodding his head once. He wasn’t sure if he should add a verbal agreement to his response or not, since it was clear that Spock had seen his gesture. Before he had even opened his mouth to speak, Spock was launching into a monologue about the thing, which was a sentient being.

“That thing, as you so abruptly referred to, is a sehlat. It is akin to a Terran dog, I believe, at least in the way that it serves as a pet and a protector of children. Vulcan children, however, must always take care of their sehlat. A sehlat is inherently dangerous, but tame sehlats are often considered the best protection for a child to have. My sehlat, which was also my father’s sehlat, is named I-Chaya.

“Eye Chi Ah?”

“Close enough, Jim. He is an old sehlat, though, for he has served my family for a long time. Perhaps, Jim, if you intend to stay long enough, mother will acquire a sehlat for you, since I-Chaya is mine.” But Jim wasn’t interested in talking about getting a new sehlat. He was interested in the concept of training the sehlat.

“Does Eye Chi Ah know tricks?” His little voice peeped up, as Spock continued to speak. But once his question had tumbled forth, Spock lifted a brow, “Tricks? I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you mean Jim.”

“Does he know tricks? Can he sit? And lie down and play dead and roll over?” Spock’s head shook, “No, he does not, but you may try to teach him. But I am afraid, Jim, that I-Chaya is old, and there is little use teaching an old sehlat new tricks.

XxX

Amanda was pleased to see just how well those two boys were getting along, and her mind drifted back to the conversation she had had with Chris earlier that day. And though they weren’t quite face to face, at least he had explained the ludicrous theory. She was sure that Chris had lost his mind. How could he even propose that something had saved both Sarek and George in the nick of time by suspending them in a nebulous cloud in the middle of space? The idea was preposterous and she shook her head at the thought. Looking up, it occurred to her that she had completely missed Spock’s lecture on the Vulcan creature sehlat which was much like the Earth dog. Looking down at her now empty dinner plate, she hesitated a moment before rising from her place. A servant rushed forwards to remove her place setting, and she nodded in recognition. Turning her attention to Spock and Jim, who had ceased speaking when she had risen, she took the moment to interject.

“Spock, since you are feeling much improved, you’re to return to school tomorrow. And Jim, you shall stay here with me. We may do whatever you shall wish tomorrow.” She couldn’t help but smile when Jim’s small, full lips turned into a pouty frown, and Spock rested his hand on Jim’s again. The small gesture of comfort brought a small smile to Jim’s face, and she couldn’t help her choked gasp when he spoke.

“Can I go to school with Spock?” Jim’s angelic face, and his gentle plea just about broke her heart. She didn’t know how to respond to his sweet inquiry, and a sudden thought crossed her mind. She was getting a soft spot for Jim Kirk. Her heart had a place for him, and she didn’t wish to disappoint him, but she knew that there was absolutely no way for him to attend the same school that Spock did. And, for that matter, there were no other true schools for him to attend.

“I’m sorry, Jim. But that isn’t possible. The school that Spock attends is taught entirely in the Vulcan language. You don’t have a good enough grasp of Vulcan yet. Perhaps in time you may attend school with Spock, but you must stay here with me and study first.” Jim’s crestfallen expression just about broke her heart. It was Spock’s soft explanation that snapped the almost oppressive silence. She fled the room, her mind swirling with a multitude of thoughts.

XxX

Spock could feel Jim’s disappointment and he found himself unsettled by the emotion that the young boy was projecting. He wanted to comfort him, and he sensed that that was what his mother was attempting to do, but her feeble attempt didn’t seem to help at all. In the silence that surrounded them, he could see her pain etched upon her features. Turning to Jim, he tried to offer a better explanation.

“Jim, the school is not like human schools. Each classroom is a large room, and each student has his own learning bowl. The speed of the material is far beyond that which a human is often able to understand. There are few humans brilliant enough and skilled enough in the Vulcan Language to comprehend the materials being taught. Would you accept my offer of tutelage in exchange for staying home with Mother? I believe that it would please her greatly.”

Jim’s head bobbed slowly and Spock sighed with relief. It seemed that he was going to acquiesce to his logical argument and with that Spock rose to his feet. “Come Jim, we can go play another round of chess. And if it suits you, we may spend time with I-Chaya, but let me reiterate, Jim, I-Chaya is not a pet. He is a protector of children, but he is not a pet?”

Jim’s eager smile pleased him, and the younger boy sprang to his feet, taking Spock’s hand in his own. There were several stifled reactions, Spock noted, and while he felt ill at ease with the contact, it obviously calmed Jim, so he closed his hand tighter around Jim’s. The little boy’s fingers wrapped around his and he felt a small shiver of pleasure run through him. The warmth of the small hand in his heated him and he felt a blush travelling along his skin. Pulling Jim along, he headed towards his bedroom. He could feel the stares of the full-blooded Vulcans, and he knew they were displeased with him once again. A part of him felt as if he should please them, while he found that in his heart, he didn’t care very much about making them happy. He cared about making his mother happy. And what would make her happiest right this moment was seeing Jim happy.

Not that making sure that Jim was happy was anything of a burden. The young boy truly touched his heart, unlike so many others had failed to do in the past. As they entered his room together, Jim let go of his hand scurried over to the neatly made bed. Clamoring up onto the bed, Jim began to bounce, and Spock couldn’t help but feel a momentary twinge of fear. Fear that Jim would fall and get hurt again. Moving swiftly to the side of the bed, Spock reached out to catch Jim just in case he fell.

“Jim, perhaps this isn’t the wisest idea? Perhaps we could spend some time with I-Chaya?” At the sound of the sehlat’s name, Jim took one last bounce and slid back to the ground. Clasping Spock in his little arms, his wide grin was infectious, “Oh can we? Can we?” His excited plea was punctuated by a tight squeeze around his middle. Spock couldn’t help but smile down at Jim.

“Of course we can. Come, let’s see if I-Chaya will come if I call him.” Poking his head out the door, he called out loudly, “I-Chaya, come boy.” Watching and waiting produced no results, and Spock found himself disappointed that the elderly sehlat had not appeared. Jim’s arms had not loosened their grip, despite the fact that he had moved a number of feet towards the door. He could feel the pressure on his heart, and he took a hand and gently loosened Jim’s grip.

Jim’s face fell, and Spock felt him withdraw into himself. The young boy shook his head and took a step back, backing away slowly. It was not a logical response, and he couldn’t help but feel concern for the younger boy. For each step Spock took towards him, Jim took a small, hesitant step backwards, until he backed himself into the wall. Sliding down to sit on the floor, Spock watched as Jim curled into himself. Stepping towards the younger boy he found himself reaching out to him, resting his hand on his shoulder. He could feel the welling of emotions and he found himself surprised at the chaos that changing Jim’s grasp upon him had caused. Opening his mouth to speak he was cut off by a heart wrenching sob.

XxX

I-Chaya hadn’t come. And his disappointment had overwhelmed him, but he had simply tightened his arms around Spock, and had rested his head on the older boy’s side. He had found comfort in the position, just holding him. He had never been able to do this with Sam or even Winona. They had always brushed him off, and he longed for contact. But then Spock’s hands were no his arms, and he was being pried away. Rejected.

Rejection flooded through Jim, and he stepped away from Spock. Struggling to contain himself, he felt his heart break. Rejected again. He should have expected it. Backing away from Spock, Jim found himself slowly backing into the wall. He didn’t want Spock to offer false comfort. It had happened enough in the past, that he would forgo contact with another humanoid in favor of solitude. Spock hadn’t ever rejected him before, hadn’t ever shown signs of rejecting him, that this small rejection broke his heart. Cornered against the wall, he sank to the ground and curled in on himself. He began to sob softly, and was unprepared for Spock’s touch. Flinching away from Spock, he looked up, tears trailing down his cheeks.

“Go away.” His words were garbled through his sobs, and he shrugged off Spock’s hand. But Spock didn’t go away. Instead, Jim found himself back in Spock’s arms, clinging to him as he was carried over to the bed. Placed gingerly upon the bed he soon found himself tucked in, with Spock sitting on the edge of the bed. Lithe fingers touched and stroked his cheek, and Jim leaned into the contact unconsciously.

“Whenever I was upset, Jim, my mother used to tuck me into bed and sing songs to me. I believe this is a form of Terran comfort. But I am poorly versed in such things. I do not know what has upset you, Jim, but I would, as humans would say, ‘Make you feel better’. There is no logic in that sentiment, for I am not offering any medical aid which would improve your physical condition, but nonetheless, I wish to offer myself and what I have at my command to make you feel better.”

Jim felt himself perking up, felt his heart leap at Spock’s offer. He hadn’t expected such an offer. It wasn’t as if his mother had ever bothered. No, when he cried, she left him alone until he stopped. He learned soon enough that crying wasn’t going to get him attention, which it would merely get him ignored until he stopped and behaved. Turning to Spock he faced the older boy, “I want you to stay with me.”

He inched over to the far side of the bed and he waited. If Spock was truly offering sincerely to comfort him, he would stay with him for the rest of the night. Jim didn’t want to be alone, and he waited silently for Spock to move. And when he did, Spock joined him, lying in bed besides him. Jim entwined his small fingers with Spock’s and was almost immediately asleep.

XxX

That was how Amanda found the pair hours later. Spock and Jim entwined in their sleep, hands clasped, cuddled close to one another. She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her features.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is been so long. I've just been so busy. Meep. I'm hoping to get another chapter out soon, but no promises. Feel free to message me with any ideas.


	5. Le-Matya, An Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief encounter with a Le-Matya brings to light a new side of Jim and Spock's relationship, along with some tough decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm terribly sorry about the delay for this chapter. I've actually written and rewritten this chapter a number of times, and I'm still not happy with it. But since it's been months since I've posted, I thought I'd let you have it the way it is. Granted it'll never be my favorite chapter, I'm looking forward to what comes in the next few chapters.

There had been another incident. Jim was missing. Amanda had turned around for only a moment and the mischievous seven year old had taken off. She had only wanted to do the dishes in peace. Jim had always stayed right next to her while she was washing the dishes. Lately though, Jim had been watching Spock leave for school every morning, a sad smile on his face. It was clear that Spock was Jim’s life-line, the only thing that connected him to the outside world. There wasn’t much that Jim did outside of the house. He played in the enclosed garden sometimes, spent time with her at the market, and enjoyed walks in the park with her. His tutors came to the house, and he so seldom left that it wasn’t such a surprise that he sometimes wanted to go out.

  
Sometimes Jim asked to walk with Spock to the transport site, but Amanda wasn’t certain that was a good idea. She was worried Jim was going to get lost or succumb to heat stroke. Spock left for school every morning, walking the short distance to the transport to get to the learning center on the other side of the tiny desert that bordered their backyard. It was only a mile or two wide, but the heat and the constantly changing winds often lead to students getting lost. No one was infallible, and Vulcan children were much like human children in their curiosity.

  
The transport had been established shortly after three students had been set upon by a le-matya. The decision to form the transport had been easy, logical. Save lives, shorten transit time. Let students live at home, learn more about how to act as proper Vulcans. As much as the Vulcan schools taught, the theories and practices of meditation could not be taught. Each child had to learn and adapt to the methods of meditation that best suited them.

  
It was this that annoyed Spock the most, with Jim, he barely had time to meditate, and between the nightmares Jim had, the feelings of neglect and his fears of being left alone meant he hounded Spock almost constantly for attention. Secretly, Amanda believed that Spock loved the attention he was getting, even if it did interfere with his ability to meditate. But Jim had never left the house before, and the fact that he had done so concerned her. Spock would have told her if Jim insisted on walking to the transport site or even going to classes with him, and she was forced to conclude that Spock was unaware of Jim’s absence. Likely the mischevious boy had seen an opening and taken it without giving thought to any of the consequences that he might face. It was just like Jim to do that too. Smiling fondly in remembrance, she shook her head before whistling for I-Chaya. The big sehlat didn’t come, and she whistled again. He was getting old after all, and it wasn’t unlike him to sleep through her call. Wondering if Jim was playing with I-Chaya, Amanda wandered through the house, whistling and calling for I-Chaya and Jim periodically.

  
It wasn’t until she entered Jim’s room to find the backpack he had just had to have missing that she began to become seriously worried. If he had taken his bag, who knew what else the rather brilliant young man had taken with him. At least there was no le-matya’s left in the stretch of desert between the house and school. Chewing on her lip anxiously, she set off to contact Spock. Maybe he knew something that he hadn’t told her. She was certain Jim would not just leave without saying something to someone. Messaging Spock, Amanda knew that it was unlikely that she would get an answer before the school day ended. Gathering up Stonn and as many others as she could find, she prepared herself to begin a search to locate Jim. It took almost a half an hour to locate his trail, and with it, the big foot prints of the old sehlat. The fact that I-Chaya had gone with Jim was a relief to Amanda, but nervous still, she set out to prepare a journey across the desert to locate her little lost boy.

XxX

  
It was hot and dry, and Jim was soaked in sweat. Leaning lightly against I-Chaya’s bulk, Jim walked as quickly as he could in the burning hot sun. He wasn’t adapted to temperatures on Vulcan yet, despite having been a resident for almost half his life. It was hotter than he could have imagined, and he wiped his brow. Stumbling in the hot sand, he dropped to his knees, fishing for his water bottle. By his estimation, he expected that he had walked almost half way through the desert. Resting in I-Chaya’s shade, the young boy leaned into the big sehlat’s side and sighed softly, his gaze focused on the far edge of the small strip of desert. He would make it to Spock, and he would see the school he had heard so much about. If he was so smart, why could he not attend the Vulcan schools as well?

  
The thought plagued him, and knowing that he needed to reach the school before Spock got out, Jim climbed to his feet and threaded his fingers through I-Chaya’s heavy coat. How the sehlat was not suffering from the heat confused him, but he leaned into the big animal’s strength. Continuing his journey, he picked his way carefully through the hot sand. Shading his face from the sun for a moment he continued walking forwards, grim determination on his face. It had been almost half an hour since he had left the safety of the house. Picking up the pace, Jim tugged at I-Chaya, the old sehlat was getting tired. Pausing to let the sehlat have some water, Jim paused and he took a moment to consider if the sehlat would be able to make it across the desert with him. He didn’t think so, and so he poured some more water for I-Chaya to drink before turning his back on the sehlat.

  
I-Chaya would find his own way home. That much Jim was certain of. Setting out as quickly as his little legs could carry him, Jim wiped the sweat from his brow, blinking as the salty liquid dripped into his eyes. Needing something to do to entertain him, he began to hum a soft song, his gaze focused on the location he intended to get to. He was pretty sure he was making better time before, better at least than he had with the sehlat slowing him down. Picking up his pace, it wasn’t long before I-Chaya was a smudge in the distance, and Jim was all alone. He continued his walk, briskly attempting to get to the edge of the desert. It was when he was within sight of the first buildings on the horizon that he heard it.

  
There was a sudden roar, and Jim’s head snapped around, his eyes widening as he found himself face to face with a monster. Stumbling he froze in place, unarmed. Not certain how he was to protect himself, he began to run. The giant thing was huge and it looked hungry. Having never seen it before, Jim had no idea what he was being chased by. He wanted to cry out, but his lungs were hurting and his legs felt like mush. Hot and sweaty, Jim stumbled and fell, the monstrous thing coming to a halt. It circled him, the large claws and fangs dripping with some sort of secretion. If Jim hadn’t been so frightened he was certain it would have been an interesting creature to study. Trapped by this beast, Jim flinched away when the beast snapped at him, the leathery gray hide rippling with muscle. It sort of reminded him of an elephant, but it looked so much more dangerous.

  
There was a pounding noise, growing louder every second, and Jim hesitated, daring to take his gaze away from the beast. I-Chaya! The old sehlat snarled, and the thing that was hunting him turned towards the sehlat. Backing away quickly, Jim turned and ran towards the nearest building, his fear sending adrenaline through him. He was so close, the building looming in front of him. At last he had made it across the desert, and he pounded on the door, his body trembling from fear ant the exertion. Praying someone would open the door he was met with no success. The next nearest building had Vulcans walking in and out of it, and Jim took off running towards them. “Help!”

XxX

  
Amanda’s message had interrupted his learning, and he had been surprised to find that Jim was missing. It wasn’t like Jim to just wander off like that, and he was certain that Jim had not mentioned anything about leaving the house to him. Replying quickly, Spock had resumed his lessons, finishing just before the lunch hour. Stepping outside into the warm air he was about to find a place to sit when a small, grungy figure came running towards the students who were beginning to break up into their usual groups. Spock was alone, like always, and his attention was caught by the small child’s bright blond hair. He only knew one person with hair like that, and his heart stopped.

  
“Help!” The voice rang out, and Spock knew for certain that it was Jim. Stepping towards Jim, Spock found himself with a sobbing, heaving boy latched around his waist. He could hardly believe it was Jim, but he was there, solid and unmistakable. Touching Jim’s cheek and taking one of Jim’s hands in his, Spock heard the stifled gasps of his classmates. To touch someone in such a manner was considered… so completely intimate, that it was not something that happened outside the bedroom or home of a bonded Vulcan pair. But he was not full Vulcan, and Jim was human, and there was no way that Jim would understand such concepts. Bending down Spock began to speak in a low, soft voice.

  
“Jim. Jim, what is the problem? Where is mother? She should be with you. How did you get here Jim? Mother is worried sick about you.” Jim simply flung his arms around Spock and clung to the other boy, his nose running as he cried softly. Spock gently pressed Jim back and placed his fingers over Jim’s meld points. “Let me see Jim.” The young boy nodded his head, and Spock whispered softly, “My mind to your mind. Your thoughts to my thoughts.” Pushing into Jim’s mind, he saw a whirlwind of emotions and there in the midst of the fear he saw something that made his heart skip a beat. No. Oh no. Pulling Jim into his arms, he expressed to the young boy his compassion. “Jim. It is alright. You do not need to be afraid Jim.” In the distance he could see I-Chaya, limping but well. “I will let mother know you are here. She will come and pick you up Jim. She is very worried about you Jim.”

  
Before he could get up he found himself surrounded by his fellow students, each of them was staring at him. Jim’s hand slipped into his and held his, their fingers entwined. Jim’s bright baby blue eyes were wide with fear, and Spock rose to his feet. In the distance he could hear the soft sounds of a hover-car and he glanced behind him to see his mother’s hovercar speeding across the desert. Turning his back to his classmates, he waited patiently, Jim’s little hand in his. His back was ramrod straight, his gaze distant. He could still feel Jim’s emotions rushing through his carefully constructed mental barriers. And when his mother slowed to a halt in front of him, he nodded to her, his face carefully blank. “Jim is okay. But he has encountered a le-matya. He is frightened mother. But he does not seem to want to leave.”

  
Jim’s hand tightened on his, and he clung to Spock’s arm worried, afraid that Spock would send him off. Spock knew his reasons, knew why Jim had come, and yet, he could not justify sending him back home. He would have to come up with a better solution, since it was obvious that Jim wished to attend school with him. If he was not allowed to, he would just repeat this stunt. Amanda’s pale, drawn face and shaking hands only drove in his point that she had been frightened. When Jim looked up at him with his sad eyes, he could not help but to feel horribly guilt. If he had only insisted that Jim attend class with him, since Jim was attached to his side anytime he was home anyway. He would bring it up with mother when he got home.

 

XxX

  
There was ripples of what could be amusement from the crowd gathered around the pair, and Amanda could only feel relief, despite knowing her son would likely come home bloodied and beaten. Jim was safe – afraid, but safe – despite his adventure, and the encounter with the le-matya. She had seen I-Chaya’s exhausted and limping figure as she had rushed towards Spock’s school, but had paid him no mind. He would return home on his own, in his own time – he always had. She was acutely aware that her hands were shaking as bent down and pulled Jim to her.  
Jim was trembling in her arms, and she cradled the boy to her, murmuring softly, “Oh Jim, dear, darling Jim. I was so worried about you.” Sweeping him into her arms she lifted him up onto her hip, only then realizing that Spock’s hand was still captured in Jim’s little one. Her gaze met Spock’s, and she finally processed what her son had said, for she had heard but not understood the words. A la-matya. It was a wonder that Jim was still alive, it was a miracle that he hadn’t been killed.

  
Jim was mumbling something, and she strained herself to hear what was coming out of his mouth. Her one hand was carefully attempting to disentangle Spock’s hand from Jim’s grasp – but the little boy was holding on firmly. “Don’t make me go home. I just wanted to go to school with Spock. Please don’t hit me. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry.” The babble spewing from Jim made her heart sick, and she knew just how badly she had messed up forcing Jim to stay home while Spock left morning after morning. Resolving to make it better, she gazed at Jim, her eyes sad as she whispered back to him, her heart broken by his soft pleas.

  
“Oh Jim baby, I’m not mad. I was just so scared for you. I was worried you’d get hurt out there, that you’d get into bigger trouble that you could handle. You’re such a big strong, brave little boy that I was afraid you were going to do something foolish and get yourself hurt.” There were several Vulcan students who looked at her funny when she spoke to Jim, as if they weren’t accustomed to comforting words. Or perhaps they were not familiar with shows of affection, of emotion, but the crowd around the trio dissipated at the short tone signaling the end of lunch break. Spock didn’t move to leave, and Amanda glared at him, but he simply shook his head. “I have already finished my lessons for the day. It is convenient that you are here, we may leave now.”

  
Amanda merely nodded, before she handed Jim to Spock who barely altered his grip on Jim’s hand before taking on the boy’s slight weight. Opening a door to the passenger compartment of the hovercar, Spock carefully slid into the seat with Jim. Once the door was closed, and Amanda was back in the driver’s seat, Spock tried to shift Jim off his lap and onto the seat besides him, but the little boy was firmly grasping onto him. Half at a loss as to what to do, and how to deal with him, Spock simply tightened his arms around Jim.


	6. Less Than Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of Jim running off to join Spock at school lead to Spock being informed he will shortly be betrothed, Jim attending school, and a cryptic remark about being 'less than perfect'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I probably shouldn't even post this chapter yet, since I like to have something of the next chapter written before I post the previous one. But I'm going to break this rule because I really actually love this chapter. It's actually three times the length of chapter 5. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Also, note, several non-canon characters in this chapter. Also, I completely forgot that Spock should have already been mentally bonded to his betrothed by now - I use the excuse Sarek died and Amanda didn't know - but the truth is I just completely forgot.

By the time that they returned, Jim was fast asleep in Spock’s arms, tired and dirty from his little adventure. The six year old was sleeping peacefully, and Spock rose to his feet, carefully carrying him from the hovercar. Speaking softly, Spock called out to his mother, “Mother, I believe after Jim has been put to bed, we need to discuss his education. I do not believe that this incident would have happened if Jim was in school with me, like he has always wished to be.” Tipping his head, he waited for Amanda to open the door for him. Not waiting to hear Amanda’s response, Spock headed up the stairs and into his bedroom.

Placing Jim down on his neatly made bed, he pressed his lips to Jim’s forehead, a markedly human gesture, before straightening and brushing the hair from Jim’s forehead. Jim would be comforted to wake up here, even if he wasn’t here, after all, Jim spent most of his nights here anyway. Carefully pulling Jim’s fingers from his shirt, he brushed his first two fingers over the first two of Jim’s, unwittingly kissing him. He had seen his mother and father engage in such an act on numerous occasions, and he knew his mother had derived comfort from it. What he didn’t remember was just that that specific gesture was a kiss, one often exchanged discretely between bond mates.

Turning around, Spock’s eyes widened slightly as he found himself facing his mother. She had been silent most of the way home, only occasionally making any sort of noise, and she had been silent since they had arrived home. Even after he had made his statement that they needed to talk, she hadn’t made any more of an acknowledgement than a slight nod of her head. But looking at her now, after she had followed him so silently, undetectable to his Vulcan hearing, he found himself startled. The look on her face was peculiar, and he found himself stepping back uneasily. “Mother?” Inquiring softly, Spock waited for her response. When it came, it was not what he had expected.

XxX

“Oh Spock.” Sighing, she stepped towards her son, stretching her hand out to him. Spock took a step forward and placed his hand gently in hers, and she could see his curiosity written across his face. “Accompany me to my room. I’m fairly certain that we need to talk, you and I my little Vulcan son.” Spock’s features became unreadable, as he spoke, and she bit back a chuckle.

“I am not a little boy anymore mother. It is quite illogical to call me your ‘little Vulcan son’.” Amanda could hear the indignation in Spock’s voice, and she smiled at him, “I am aware of that Spock. But you are my son, and at the moment, you are still smaller than I. Therefore it is logical to describe you as such.” Lifting one neatly maintained eyebrow, she tugged on Spock’s hand gently, smiling at her boy. Spock followed her willingly, and she stepped into her room. Moving towards her bed, she took a seat perched on the edge. Letting go of Spock’s hand, she patted the edge of the seat and gestured for him to sit beside her. When he took a seat next to her, he sat stiffly, his gaze fixed on the holo-image of his father on her dresser. Surprised by the item he had focused on, she rested her hand upon his shoulder and spoke softly. “The truth of the matter, Spock, is that that is one of the only holo-image of your father that I have. He was not fond of photographs, and he seldom let me take holo-images of him.” Rising to her feet she stepped towards her dresser and picked up the photo, her fingers brushing the frame gently.

“I was always especially fond of this photo of him. He always insisted that it was superfluous to like this one more than any of the others. But I always thought that this showed his best side.” Handing the photo to Spock she sighed softly, “Sometimes I miss him more than I can ever explain. He’d know exactly what to do after Jim’s little adventure. He was always the more level headed, and he’d know how to deal with this unfortunate incident. I don’t know how to deal with Jim’s actions Spock. You never acted like this, you were never impulsive, and you were never so defiant or headstrong.”

She could see Spock’s discomfort with her candidness, but she could see how much it meant to him, to hear her thoughts on the matter. But she could see an argument building in her son, and she simply waited for him to reach the decision that he was going to come to. Of course she knew what he would say, but that wouldn’t make it any more difficult to make the decision. She needed a sounding board more than anything. Sarek had always been her sounding board, and she missed him more than ever now. His advice would have been invaluable, and she felt his loss more than ever. The pain from her broken bond with him had not diminished, and though she knew that it was illogical to continue to refuse to see a mind healer, to seek help to heal her shattered bond, she could not bring herself to. It was not crippling, but it was a reminder, an ache, an emptiness that she could not hope to fill again. Not even her bond with her son could come close to filling the hole in her heart. Caught up in her thoughts it took her a moment to hear the cries coming from the other room. Spock was already moving, her son was rushing to Jim’s side, and she couldn’t help but feel that her son’s need to be at his friend’s side was much more than a simple friendship or the feeling of brotherhood.

XxX

It was chasing him, he was racing away from the beast, the heavy legs chasing after him. He could hear it screeching, and he could hear I-Chaya’s squealing roar in response. He was running, thrashing in place, the sand sucking him down. He could feel himself slowing, falling, and then it was on top of him. I-Chaya’s blood was dripping from its fangs, and Jim’s heart stopped, and he screamed in panic as the jaws of the le-matya began to close around him. Bolting up, Jim’s eyes snapped open, and he found himself staring into the warm brown gaze that he knew so well.

Spock’s fingers were stroking his cheek, and playing with his hair as he lay quivering in what he could see was Spock’s bed. Jim’s fingers were tangled in the sheets, and the young boy noticed that standing over Spock was Amanda. Offering her a weak smile, Jim turned his attention to Spock who was murmuring something indistinguishable. Unsure of what his friend was saying, he reached up one of his little grubby hands and tugged gently on Spock’s tunic. “I… I had a nightmare.” Stumbling over his words, he waited for Spock to respond, to have his friend indicate that he heard, that he had understood.

“Jim, that is understandable. You went through a troubling incident today. And six year old little boys should not have to encounter le-matyas, no matter how independent they are.” Spock’s cool hands were comforting, and he clung to his friend. Spock was murmuring softly, his words unintelligible, but Jim found comfort in them. Jim rolled over and moved away from the edge of the bed and was pleased when Spock instantly joined him. Within Spock’s cool arms, he leaned into his friend as they were tucked into bed by Amanda. “We’ll talk later Spock.” Then the door hissed shut and Jim leaned into Spock readily.

XxX

Amanda stepped away from the pair choosing to leave them in peace. In the two years that Jim had spent with them, living with them, becoming so integrated into their daily activities that it was hard to imagine life before Jim, she had found that when things went wrong, when Jim was troubled, it was best to leave Spock to deal with whatever was troubling Jim. Jim was a peculiar boy in some ways, and he had seldom sought her out to talk. But he was always glued to Jim, and he was always the one who knew how to help Jim.

She was so sure of their bond that she was planning on a trip to earth. She had spent a long time thinking about Chris’s message, but she had finally decided that she could not leave Jim. Not so soon, not so quickly after he had arrived. And then as they began to settle into the litany of study and work, where she began to feel that Jim was comfortable Chris had gone away. They had not had a chance to talk. But now, Chris was back, and Jim was comfortable. And she was beginning to feel that if she left, she could trust her two boys to get along by themselves.

It was time, she thought, that she took the trip that Chris had suggested. She was walking blindly, and she found herself at the doors of Sarek’s study. Pulling open one of the heavy doors, she stepped through, and was surprised at just how neat and clean it was. Everything was pristine, and there was not a speck of dust in sight. Someone had kept his study nice and clean, just the way it had been when he was still alive. Stepping to his desk, a highly polished heavy wood desk, Earth-style, she took a seat in his chair. Sinking into the surprisingly soft chair, she sighed softly. Staring at his desk, she couldn’t help but see the padd he had been taking notes on before they had left.

She was surprised that the Padd was still functional and charged. Picking it up, she couldn’t help but feel like she needed to see what her husband had last been thinking about when he had sat in this chair here. Keying up the list that he had been working on, she couldn’t help but remember the last time she had sat in this chair. He had asked her to sit in his chair after informing her that they as a family were returning to Earth for a special mission. It had surprised her, since he had been the one to insist that she and Spock should remain behind when he was traveling in his capacity of ambassador. She had been eager to return to Earth, for she hadn’t seen her home world since before she had gotten pregnant with Spock, and though she had wanted to tell her parents in person, the difficulties she experienced with her pregnancy had made that almost impossible.

Sighing softly she drew herself out of her memories and brought the information on the Padd up. There were only a few notes on the padd, in list format. The first seemed quite strange to her, and she stared at it uncomprehendingly for a few moments. “Contact T’Pau – Begin negotiations for Spock’s betrothal. Betrothal?” Puzzled she read and reread the note several times before she sent a communication link to T’Pau.

Spock’s grandmother would certainly know what this note meant, and she was sure T’Pau would be willing to help. After all, Spock was her only grandchild. Perhaps it was time for Spock to get to know T’Pau, and for Spock to begin to act more like a Vulcan. She had seen his actions, had noticed just how readily he touched Jim, how willingly he brushed his fingers against Jim’s. Kissing Jim was innocent, but far too intimate for just friends, and she had seen how readily he crawled into bed with Jim.

The screen in front of her chirped, and suddenly she was face to face with the proud face of the Minister of Vulcan. T’Pau was practically ancient, but she was also the head of the family. Waiting for T’Pau to speak first, Amanda couldn’t help but think that age had been kind to her. “Amanda, how nice to see you again.” T’Pau was always pleasant to speak with, but she seldom contacted the matriarch of the family. “And you as well T’Pau. I have contacted you in the hope that you will help me explain some cryptic notes that Sarek left before his death.” Without waiting for a verbal consent, for she knew that T’Pau would not mind her questions, she forged ahead. “Before we left for Earth, Sarek making some notes about things he wanted to do and discuss when we returned. Since I’ve not stepped foot in his study since before his death, I’ve only just found these notes. One of them says he wanted to contact you about Spock’s betrothal.”

“Ah, yes. The betrothal. S’chn T’gai Spock is already ten, but I am confident that I can still find a willing partner for him. Even with his disadvantage with being a half human. It is only a ritual Amanda. Vulcan children are telepathically bonded - usually by the age of seven – to their life partner. Spock is a bit old for it, but I am sure I can find him a nice young man or woman. You would not happen to know his preference would you?”

Blown away by the implication, she stared blankly at T’Pau before choking out an answer, “I uh. No, not that I know of. He is very close to James Kirk however.” T’Pau’s nod was not unexpected, but her further inquiry was, “Is there anything else that I can do to aid you?” Amanda nodded, taking a deep breath, “In addition, I am planning a brief visit to Earth to conduct some business. Would you be willing to take some time to meet with Spock? I fear he is losing touch with his Vulcan side. He is acting increasingly human and his behavior is beginning to become intimate with James Kirk. I fear that I am not doing a good job in showing him how a proper Vulcan behaves, and I know that is highly important to him.” T’Pau’s response was a relief, “Of course. I will adjust my schedule accordingly. Please let me know when you are planning to travel. Be well Amanda.” The screen turned black suddenly, and Amanda slouched into her chair relieved that was over with.

XxX

“Meld with me?”

“Yes, of course my Jim.” The words were possessive, but Spock couldn’t help but feel possessive over the younger boy. Jim was his, his to protect, and his to love. Pressing his fingers over Jim’s meld points, he slipped inside of Jim’s mind surprised just how easily it came to him. It had taken months to learn how to meld with Jim, but when he had finally figured it out, he felt at ease with melding with Jim. Jim had enjoyed it, and though the first few times he had melded with him had been when Jim was in the midst of a nightmare, Spock had soon realized that Jim almost always knew that he had melded with him.

It had taken some explaining, but Spock knew that Jim was highly receptive to his telepathic abilities, and Jim seemed to love the time they spend melded. Spock tried not to meld with his friend too often, but he couldn’t help it. The feeling of Jim’s chaotic mind wrapped around him was too addicting, and Spock found that he was eagerly accepting Jim’s requests to meld with him. Of course he couldn’t know that melding with Jim so often was beginning to forge a bond between the two, but he was aware how much easier it was to initiate a meld between them.

He could see Jim’s nightmare, and he watched it play out again and again in Jim’s mind, the fear and pain wrenching at his heart. Finally he pulled Jim’s attention away from the le-matya. Focusing the wildly swirling emotions he pulled the reason for Jim’s trip through the desert. School and being with him. _My Jim, do not be afraid. You will not have to face the le-matya again. Come Jim, let us think about something else, something different. Something better. Let us think about what we are going to be studying._

“You really think that I’ll be allowed to go to the learning bowls with you?” Jim’s mental voice was less sure, and he often spoke the words that he wanted to say out loud. Spock broke the meld and smiled at Jim, taking his smaller hand in his. “I am certain that I will be able to convince her that it is the most prudent action to let you attend the school with me. No more private tutors for you. I am confident that your Vulcan is advanced enough to learn in Vulcan. I know that you have always wanted to attend school with me. And I am sure that she will be amenable to it.” Spock’s soft words were punctuated by a soft chime, indication that someone wished to enter his room. Carefully untangling himself from Jim’s octopus like limbs, Spock rose and straightened out his tunic before calling out to whoever was standing outside his door. “Enter.”

The door hissed open and his mother stepped through, “Spock, I’ve had some time to think about your request. I do believe that Jim should be allowed to attend school with you. I’ve already contacted the head of your school, and he’s agreed to place Jim in the beginning level classes.” Jim’s excited squeal and subsequent bouncing on his neatly made bed made Spock quirk an eyebrow, but he was not particularly surprised by the announcement. “See Jim? I told you so.”

Amanda’s chuckle brought Spock’s attention back to her before she smiled wanly. “I’m also planning a trip to Earth to conduct some business. I don’t expect to be away long, but T’Pau has agreed to come and watch you two while I’m gone.” Spock’s heart stopped and he took a step away from his mother, “T’Pau? Come here? That is unheard of Mother. She has not come since before Father…” Trailing off, Spock waited as his mother composed herself, “Indeed, she’s coming here. She also wants to discuss your betrothal with you Spock. You’re well past the age most children become betrothed, and she feels it’s time for you to be betrothed. I am fairly certain that she will probably bring your mate with her, and she’ll probably initiate the mating bond when she stays here with you.”

Betrothed. The word sent shivers through Spock, and he gritted his teeth in dismay. He wasn’t sure he wanted a Vulcan mating bond in his head just yet. He wasn’t a proper Vulcan after all, and he was likely to find a mate who would not like him at all. And he couldn’t leave Jim, not yet. Jim was too fragile, too innocent for him to be left alone just yet. If he had a mating bond in his head, he’d not be able to meld with Jim, and melding with Jim was something that he had come to treasure. It was their time together, and moving towards Jim, he reached out and pulled Jim close. “I do not believe that a Vulcan mating bond is something that I want at the moment mother. I would much rather choose someone later. It is not without precedence mother, the Kunat-So’lik is just as logical as bonding as a child. I would prefer to get to know my intended before I choose to spend my life with them. Like you and Father did.”

XxX

Jim wasn’t sure what was going on, but he could sense how uneasy Spock was with a mating bond. Unsure why his friend was so uneasy, he slipped his arms around Spock’s waist and clung to him. Pressing his nose into Spock’s side, he peered out at Amanda who was grim faced, and her words seemed just as dire as the look on her face. “I believe you’ll have to discuss it with your grandmother. She’ll have the final say. This is what your father wanted for you Spock. But it’s time for you both to clean up, have dinner, and head to bed, since you’ll have a busy day tomorrow. Jim, it’ll be your first day of school. Are you excited?”

Nodding his head, Jim bounced eagerly on his toes. “I can’t wait. I’ve always wanted to learn in bowls. Tutors are nice, but I really want to spend my days with Spock.” Holding onto Spock’s hand, Jim tugged Spock towards the bathroom. “May we take a bath tonight?” They seldom took baths, since sonic showers were much more efficient and wasted less water, but Vulcan was having an unusually rainy season. “Very well, go ahead. Be sure to clean up after yourselves. And don’t let the water overflow.” Jim was already pulling Spock into the spacious bathroom by the time Amanda stepped out of the room.

Tugging on Spock’s clothing, Jim quickly divested his friend of his clothing before shedding his own filthy garments. Stripped naked, Jim pulled Spock into the empty tub before plopping himself down between Spock’s legs. Pressing the button to fill the tub with water, Jim curled up in Spock’s lap, his head resting on Spock’s chest. Comfortable, Jim sighed peacefully as Spock began to wash him from head to toe. Spock’s gentle fingers even cleaned behind his ears and between his toes, places Jim would have never thought to wash. Jim was pleased that Spock let him take his time washing his friend, that Spock didn’t rush him through and inform him that he needed to be efficient in his bathing rituals.

By the time they were done, the water was ice cold and they were all wrinkly. Stepping out of the water, Jim pulled a warm towel around himself and dried off quickly. All his clean clothes were in his room, and he found himself without clothes, until Spock handed him some of his clothes. “Thanks.” Stepping into Spock’s larger clothing, Jim felt surprisingly comfortable. Taking Spock’s hand, he walked with Spock on their way to dinner, speaking surprisingly little for being Jim. When he did speak, his words were quiet, “Do you think you can walk me to my learning bowl tomorrow? I don’t know if I can find it by myself.” Jim was pleased by Spock’s smile and response, “Of course I will Jim. I will help you adjust to your new school environment just as I helped you adjust to Vulcan.” Jim fell silent and remained silent throughout dinner, and he even attracted several strange looks from the servants and Amanda who were used to him chattering his way through meals.

It wasn’t until he was about to retire to bed that he spoke again, and only to ensure that he could spend the night once again with Spock, in Spock’s room, in Spock’s newly cleaned bed. Spock had agreed, just as he always did, and Jim had slid under the covers besides Spock’s cool frame. His little hands were sliding along Spock’s body, and he gazed at Spock for a moment, before he opened his mouth and spoke again. “Spock, if you’re betrothed, does that mean that we can’t be together anymore?”

“No, of course not Jim. Do not worry about it. We will be together forever. I promise you that.” Despite the sincerity written across Spock’s face, there was doubt in Jim’s heart, and he clung to Spock. “But you’ll be betrothed soon, and I’ll be alone. No one will want me around Spock.” Jim’s hand was being pulled away from its clenched grip on Spock’s shirt, and Spock was speaking softly. “I promise Jim. But if it will make you feel better, if you extend your first two fingers of your hand, and if I extend the same to fingers on my hand, just like this, and we brush them together, like so, this is a symbol of Vulcan affection. When we do this, you can remember that I care for you deeply.” Jim nodded, and he curled his fingers around Spock’s before he nestled his head in Spock’s shoulder and quietly drifted off to sleep.

XxX

When morning rolled around, Spock found himself half buried underneath Jim, with Jim’s fingers locked around his. Waking his friend was something he was not looking forward to, but he did so anyway. “Jim, it’s time to wake up. We’re going to go to school soon.” He was yanked forwards when Jim threw himself out of bed, pulling Spock with him. “Easy now Jim, there is no reason to rush like this. We’ve got plenty of time.” Pulling on his tunic, he headed into the bathroom to perform his morning ablutions, though Jim was already rushing past him out the door and down the stairs. Jim’s hair was sticking up, and there were smudges of toothpaste on his cheeks. His shirt was rumpled and his pants were wrinkled, but he was too eager to get to school. Spock took his time and was neatly presentable when he stepped from his room and headed for the stairs. By the time he had made it down, Jim was already halfway through breakfast, though Mother had, it appeared, taken the time to fix Jim’s hair and clean off the toothpaste from his face. It was unlikely that she would be able to convince him to change, but wrinkled clothing was not as offensive as wild hair and toothpaste smears on one’s face.

Spock sat and took his meal quietly, while Jim prattled away about how excited he was. By the time that Jim was winding down, he had finished and was standing up to clear away his place. Even though they had servants, he had always seen that his mother approved of him actually cleaning up after himself, and he was inclined to indulge her humanness. Cleaning up after himself was a small price to pay for Jim to go to school with him. Jim had reattached himself to his side as he gathered his school things and the packed lunch that his mother always made him.

Stepping out the front door with Jim’s small hand wrapped around his, Spock felt a moment of pride, pride that his Jim was going to a proper school, where he’d have to meet the Vulcan standards, not the standards of tutors paid for Jim to get good grades. He was certain that Jim, who had quickly mastered chess and who could sometimes beat him, would do well. Entwining their fingers, Spock walked with his head held high towards the transport. “Jim I must warn you, there is likely to be those who will argue against your presence. You are likely to be picked on because you are human and not Vulcan. You must not take notice of them or their words.” He extended two of his fingers to Jim, and when Jim met his and brushed them with his own smaller fingers, Spock couldn’t help but feel a shiver of pleasure run down his spine.

“I will endeavor not to react to their-” They had reached the transport, and there were several jeers which cut off Jim’s words. Spock was certain that Jim would try, but he was not as good at reigning in his emotions, and while Spock’s emotions were dangerously close to the surface, Jim’s were on the surface and were ready to explore at any moment. One of the students, a tall Vulcan male, approximately eleven years old, and towering over Jim by at least a good foot and a half, and was indeed taller than Spock by a few inches stepped forwards and barred their way from entering the transport. His name was Yehenik, and Spock had always had trouble with him. He was rude and often cruel, two traits that Spock abhorred, and Spock’s emotional control was never less than when he was faced with Yehenik.

“Are you following your father’s example S’chn T’gai Spock? At least you doing better than he, taking up with a male human. At least this way there can be no half-blooded hells spawn born.” Yehenik’s snarling words and bunched fists were in counterpoint to the usually calm but provocative taunts that he was usually treated to. Spock was taken aback by the words, but Jim, little, fragile Jim was furious. Shoving past Yehenik, and dragging him along, Jim turned and kicked Yehenik in his groin, shouting until his face turned red, and spittle flew from his lips. “You worthless little bastard! How dare you talk to Spock like that! At least he’s respectable! You’re anything but. I bet your mother conceived you when she had relations with a sehlat. You’re so ugly you could be the child of a le-matya. You’re so stupid you couldn’t tell the difference between your nose -” Jim’s rant was cut off suddenly by a hand wrapping around his throat and tossing him bodily to the ground.

Jim was lying there winded, and clearly in pain, and Spock didn’t know what to do, but he didn’t have a chance to do anything. Yehenik’s fury turned on him, and Spock ducked before he stepped up close and Vulcan nerve pinched his fellow classmate. Picking up Jim and cradling him in his arms he quickly boarded the transport, leaving Yehenik lying on the ground. Finding a place alone from everyone else, he cuddled Jim close and whispered softly, “Jim that is not the way you should do things. You have just gotten yourself into trouble. Yehenik is one of the meanest boys in school, and now he is going to paint a target on your back. Not to mention I do not even want to know where you got all those insults. But some of them hurt Yehenik’s pride, and he will not forget that easily.”

Jim’s warm body in his arms twitched as Jim’s head bobbed up and down, “Yeah well. He’s a jerk. Don’t know why I should care what he thinks. He’s just a bully.” When Jim squirmed out of his arms and into the seat beside him, Spock simply shook his head and extended his fore and middle fingers to Jim, who met them again. Spock was pleased with Jim’s eager return of the gesture which he understood to be affection, and he leaned against Jim comfortably.

XxX

The arrival of the transport at the school, the one Jim had so recently walked to in his need to spend time with Spock, sent Jim up out of his seat. Pressing his nose to the glass window of the transport, Jim stared, his eyes wide with wonder as he caught his first glimpse of the large facility where they would be learning. This was his first real view of the school, for his previous glimpse only the day before had been incomplete and had only shown to him the back area of the school where the children had lunch. Jim’s first view of the school was of a huge, modern metal and glass building, which towered over the primarily flat desert landscape two tall towers which were connected with a low level. It was a typical Vulcan city design, something he had only seen once during a brief trip to Shir’Kar, and Jim found himself being tugged backwards by Spock, “Come Jim, I will see if I can help you locate your learning bowl. I am certain that today will be spent mostly in placement examinations. I am sorry for that, but it must be done for you to be accurately placed. I am certain that you will do well.” Spock took his hand and guided him into the building and through the entrance way where he found an impeccably dressed Vulcan male standing in front of him.

“Mister James Tiberius Kirk, human, age six. I am Mahak, I am to be your guide today. Come with me, and I will escort you to your learning bowl. I will be your guide through the placement examinations, and will be available to help you understand how to interact with your learning bowl.” Jim was startled by how formal this Vulcan was, and he grasped Spock’s hand tighter, then replied uneasily, “Thank you, but I would prefer for Spock to help my find my way. I am comfortable with his presence.” The Vulcan male merely quirked an eyebrow before stepping aside as Jim tugged Spock past and into the lowest level of the school. Spock’s confident steps assured Jim that he had done the right thing, and as he was guided by his friend. Spock hesitated by one of the learning bowls indented into the ground, “This is my learning bowl, and it seems you have been assigned the learning bowl right next to mine.” Spock’s words were like music to his ears, and he grinned broadly, his hand tightening around Spock’s in his excitement. “Will you show me how to use my learning bowl?” Stepping down the stairs, Jim took up a place somewhere near the center, and the young boy shifted uneasily as he waited for Spock to follow him down.

“There is no reason for me to enter your learning bowl. You simply need to answer questions asked, it is usually done verbally, and by moving one finger through the air in front of you, it is possible to take notes. Any notes you take will be downloaded to a study Padd which you will take home with you at night. Examinations are different only because you only answer questions, and any notes you make will not be given to you, but reviewed with the answers of the questions. You will receive your results at the end of the day, at which time you will be placed in your classes, and tomorrow when you begin your classes, the learning bowl will build off what you already know.” Spock disappeared from the edge of his learning bowl when he nodded, and when the lights above them dimmed, the learning bowl lit up. A soft voice began to speak in Vulcan, and while Jim was momentarily surprised by just how sophisticated the learning bowl was, he immediately drew his attention back to what the voice was saying. After verifying his name and age, and being informed that the examination was going to begin, Jim settled himself on the floor of his learning bowl, his head turning as he began to answer the questions.

He couldn’t help but feel that the exam was too easy and that he was missing something. Uneasy by how quickly he was progressing, for the progress bar marked that he had already covered two thirds of the exam, Jim hesitated before answering the next question. It all seemed so easy to him, and he was confused by just how many questions he felt confident of their answers. It wasn’t until he was completely finished that he was informed that he could leave. Standing up, Jim stretched before climbing out of his learning bowl. The lights were still dim, and he stood alone above the learning bowls. Many of them were glowing faintly with various lessons, including Spock’s. Casting his gaze back towards his own dark learning bowl, he noted that only a small handful of the learning bowls in the entire facility were dark. Stepping forward, Jim stepped towards the dimly lit stairs of Spock’s learning bowl. At the top of the stairs, he peered down, and waved his hand at Spock, and getting no response he began to start down the stairs.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him, and turning, he found himself facing Mahak. “Mister Kirk, there is no reason to interrupt S’chn T’gai Spock, indeed, you should not think about interrupting another student during their lessons.” Mahak’s voice was soft, and though scolding, Jim didn’t feel too embarrassed, merely chastised. “I am sorry, Mahak. I have finished the exam and I do not know what I should be doing now.” The tall Vulcan male’s features conveyed a hint of surprise before he ushered Jim away. Confused, Jim followed Mahak’s lead, moving quietly as the several monitors who were watching the students in their studies. Guided to the back of the building, Jim found himself being escorted up a turbo lift and into a series of administrative offices. It was at the furthest office from the turbo lift that he was told to take a seat and wait for further instructions. Mahak headed off to work on something, and Jim sat for what seemed like an ungodly amount of time before he was finally summoned. When he was, he found himself standing in front of a plain door, with the name plate besides it reading “School Administrator: T’Rya”. It sounded like the principal’s office, and Jim was not certain he wanted to be there. Sam had always ended up in the principal’s office and mommy had never been too happy about that. Nervously he waited as the door chimed, and from within he heard the word, “Enter.”

XxX

School Administrator T’Rya was quite annoyed, despite how un-Vulcan it is to be annoyed. It began yesterday with a late afternoon call from one Amanda Grayson, widow of Ambassador Sarek, who was the son of Minister T’Pau, a highly respected woman of extraordinary power which came from her bold upheaval of the corrupted High Command almost a century before. There is no way to deny the relation of Minister T’Pau, especially when Ms. Grayson is simply asking to enroll a human boy in her school. She was certain that her ratings will go down, and this human boy will bring down her standing on the Vulcan School Board. Considering that this boy is also the son of the earth hero who – along with Ambassador Sarek – sacrificed himself to save over eight hundred people, including Amanda Grayson and her son, the half human hybrid S’chn T’gai Spock, there really is no way to refuse her. Then this morning there was a report of a fight, a fight between three specific students, Yehenik, S’chn T’gai Spock, and Mister James Tiberius Kirk. Considering that Yehenik never made it aboard the transport, much less to school, she had to now deal with Yehenik’s very angry parents. Of course it would never have happened if she hadn’t been forced to allow Mister Kirk into her school. On top of that, she had been forced to witness several inappropriate signs of affection between S’chn T’gai Spock and Mister Kirk. She wanted to have a talk with Ms. Grayson about appropriate behavior, but wasn’t sure just how close Ms. Grayson was to her mother-in-law. And it was possible, even though Mister Kirk was human, that he was to be S’chn T’gai Spock’s bond mate, despite being human, and being almost certainly psi-null. In that case, their actions towards each other were more… acceptable, but it was still, unsettling to see such young children acting in such a manner.

By the time that Mister Kirk had begun his placement examination she was watching him for any signs of cheating. Beyond the fact that he sat down in the learning bowl she had assigned him, she could see no sign of cheating. In fact at the speed he answered the questions seemed outright unnatural for an inferior human, that she was almost convinced he was Vulcan. But as she watched the number of questions he had answered increase and the percentage never waver from one hundred, she had become angry. It was an insult to all Vulcan children everywhere that this inferior human boy do better than they. By the time he had finished, she was astounded by the human. Four hundred and ninety eight out of five hundred, ninety nine point six percent accuracy. He could not have cheated, she had watched him, but he had earned the highest score ever on the exam, much better than many Vulcan children. Only a handful of Vulcans had ever scored nearly as high as this one insignificant human, and the half human hybrid had been one of them.

The chime of someone standing outside her door brought her out of her thoughts, and she looked up, knowing who was there. Rising from her seat she straightened her long tunic and called out, “Enter.” Stepping in front of her desk she nodded once to Mahak before she turned her attention to Mister Kirk. The young boy was looking at her shyly, and she lifted one slanted eyebrow, “Kirk, James Tiberius. I am School Administrator T’Rya, and I have summoned you to officially congratulate you. You have earned the highest mark ever on the placement exam, ninety nine point six percent. The Vulcan Government and Minister T’Pau will be notified of your achievement, and you will be placed in special classes.” She could see that Mister Kirk was uneasy with her announcement, and she watched as he shuffled, “Is there something that you wish to ask Mister Kirk?”

“There is School Administrator T’Rya. I wish to know what these special classes will entail. What makes them so special? Are they merely faster paced? Are they more complex? Does taking them mean that I will have less time to spend with my friends? Will taking these special classes mean that I will have to change which learning bowl I am using? Because if it will, I would prefer to decline, I like taking my lessons near my friend.” Watching Mister Kirk’s mouth open and close for a solid minute before he spoke, she was surprised by his astute line of questions. Stepping behind her desk, she gestured to the chair across from her before she sat. Once sitting, T’Rya smiled at Mister Kirk and folded her hands in front of her. “I can answer all of those questions now.”

“These classes are considered special because they require a higher level of academic ability from the student. Only a handful of truly gifted students ever enter these classes. The material is considered more difficult, and it explores the more difficult concepts more in depth. In addition, you will learn much more than your fellow students. Even though your lessons will move faster, there is no reason for you not to be able to spend time with your friend. Although traditionally these classes are held on the uppermost floor of the second tower, I am certain that I can make an exception and allow you to either continue your classes on the ground floor with many of the students. Or I can allow your friend S’chn T’gai Spock to take his classes in the tower with you. He too has qualified for the classes. He initially refused to take the course, though I believed at the time that his reasoning for passing up the opportunity to further his education was sound, I now believe that he might be willing to take the same classes as you.”

“I am fairly certain, given how close you are to your bond mate,” She couldn’t help prying, for they were extraordinarily close, especially since Vulcans did not need friends, they merely had colleagues and bond mates. She continued, “… that his inital reasoning for rejecting the opportunity to take the higher level courses was directly related to aiding you in your studies. You seem remarkably proficient for as young as you are, so much so that you completed the entire exam in a mere four point one six seven hours, averaging thirty seconds per question.” He looked shocked, and before she could tell him just how many questions he answered, he interrupted her.

“Bond mate? Spock doesn’t have a bond mate yet.” Mister Kirk’s expression was puzzled, and she tilted her head slightly as she observed him. He didn’t seem offended, merely confused by her assumption. Brushing it off, T’Rya decided to keep telling him the statistics of the exam, “Forgive me for my assumption. As I was saying, out of the five hundred questions on the exam, you got four hundred and ninety eight of them correct, which is the highest score that I have ever seen, and it is likely that it is one of the highest if not the highest scores on all of Vulcan. I strongly encourage you to take them, doing so will be to your benefit.”

Mister Kirk’s response was hesitant, and he seemed rather overwhelmed by the thought that he had possibly scored the highest ever on the placement exam. When he did speak, she wanted to smack him for being so damned hesitant. It was an honor, most of the students knew her but were petrified of being brought to her. T’Rya was legendary for her high standards, and anyone who scored less than an eighty percent on any assignment – homework, exam, or classwork – with the sole exception of the placement exam was given one chance to rectify their mistake before being reassigned to a different school. She took pride in her school and her school’s standing as the number one academy for academics for the lower forms of education. Her initial reluctance to accept Mister Kirk was strictly due to his being human, and only human. He did not possess the more sophisticated and logical mind of a Vulcan and could therefore be only inferior to Vulcans. His scores proved her wrong, and she was offering him the chance of a lifetime – to receive the highest standard of Vulcan education.

“May I have time to think over taking these courses?” And what else could she reply, but “Yes of course. Feel free to discuss this with your guardian and S’chn T’gai Spock. I am certain that they will prove to be an exceptional resource in your search for an answer. Starting tomorrow you will take the regular level classes with the remainder of the students. I do however wish to inform you that I expect the best from my students. I do not accept grades lower than an eighty percent. If you score lower than an eighty percent in any assignment, I will give you one chance to bring your grade up, and if you fail to, I will personally have you reassigned to another school. I urge you to take this into account when you consider whether or not you wish to take the advanced classes. In addition please inform S’chn T’gai Spock that he too may choose to change the course level that he is in at this time. When and if you make a decision, please feel free to come to my office at any time. You are dismissed.”

When Mister Kirk left her office, T’Rya slumped down in her chair, her perfect Vulcan posture slipping as she pondered the reactions of the parents of her students. To hear that the highest score in the placement exam belonged to a human could create great disruption in society. It could drive the Vulcans to seek war with the humans – a fate she believed to be highly unlikely – or it could drive them to increase their standards and push educational standards and technologic advances forward at an even higher rate. Shaking her head she straightened and began to compose a message to Minister T’Pau, certain that the Minister would wish to hear about the human boy.

XxX

When he turned to leave, the door hissed open and he found himself face to with Mahak again. Without a word, Mahak turned and guided him from T’Rya’s office and back to the turbo lift. Stepping inside, Jim remained silent as they descended, and he had expected the Vulcan to do the same. When they were almost all the way down, Mahak stopped the turbo lift with a sharply spoken command, “Halt.” The sudden jolt caused Jim to fall against the side of the lift before he straightened again. “I am sorry if I startled you. I merely wish to ascertain that you truly did receive the highest score on the placement examination.” Jim simply nodded his head, watching as one of Mahak’s slanted eyebrows lifted slightly before he spoke again, “Many of the students are finishing their lessons at this time. Your friend S’chn T’gai Spock will be among them. Resume.” Jim simply nodded, and hurried out of the turbo lift without saying another word. Mahak simply rode the lift back up and returned to his cubicle.

When he reached Spock’s learning bowl, he was pleased to see that his friend was just beginning to wrap up his lessons for the day. In barely a moment, Spock was finished and was making his way up the stairs. Eager to discuss his meeting with T’Rya, Jim stepped forwards and grinned at his friend. Certain he didn’t want everyone to know about his meeting with T’Rya, he extended his hand to Spock. After Spock brushed his fore and middle finger against his, Jim took Spock’s hand in his. “How did you do on your placement exam Jim?” Spock’s question was anticipated, but Jim still hesitated before answering. He could see the sheer numbers of Vulcan children around them and he was certain that he didn’t wish to tell everyone how he had done.

“I believe the proper response would be less than perfect, but I would rather wait until we return home to tell you how I have done.” Ducking his head, Jim tugged on Spock’s hand. “I’m starving.” Spock raised an eyebrow, “After approximately three point five hours in your learning bowl you may take your lunch at any time. Or you may take it after you finish your lessons. It is up to you. You were not informed of that?” Jim shook his head, “No, let’s just go home.” Agreeably, Spock did not argue with him, and simply walked with him out the doors. Boarding the transport they settled down for the relatively quick ride back to the transport stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, I know I promised that there wouldn't be Spock x other >.> But uhm, there's some Spock x T'Pring, but I don't really count it because they're only mentally bonded and not really in a relationship. On the upside, T'Pring probably won't appear anywhere else in the story except for chapter 7.


	7. T’Pau, T’Pring, and Unfortunate News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter: T'Pau and T'Pring. Spock and Jim meet Spock's grandmother, and Jim receives some news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually don't like this chapter at all, but I felt that this chapter needed to be posted the way it is. I'll apologize in advance, there's a bit of a curveball towards the end of the chapter and it gets kind of awkward to read - and it was practically hell to write - and I sort of left it on a strange note. But the next chapter will be better. That much I can promise you. 
> 
> Also, any Vulcan words in this chapter are defined at the end.

By the time they arrived at the transport site, Jim was nervously squirming in his seat. There was no way that he could continually avoid Spock’s line of questioning, but he really didn’t wish to discuss what T’Rya had said before they arrived home. He was sure that Amanda would want to know as well, and it was probably better to kill two birds with one stone. Especially if T’Pau was going to be coming over soon. If T’Pau didn’t know about his remarkable score yet, it was possible that Amanda wouldn’t know either, since he was almost certain that T’Pau would contact Amanda concerning his extraordinarily high placement exam score.

Walking home hand in hand with Spock was pleasant, and he almost forgot why he was being silent, but it lurked in the back of his mind. Why had Spock truly turned T’Rya’s invitation down? Was he being foolish to hesitate for the sake of spending more time near Spock? Was he really acting like Spock’s intended, like his bond mate? He wasn’t even certain why Spock needed a bond mate. Why couldn’t he be enough? Why did he have to become betrothed to someone he didn’t even know? Why did it matter? He didn’t like the possible answers, and when he turned to look at Spock, he could tell immediately that Spock had picked up on some of his emotions. That was probably bad, since he was beginning to feel pretty worried about spending the rest of his life alone. Half afraid that Spock would meet this person T’Pau was intending for him and decide that he, James Tiberius Kirk, was not good enough for him, Jim found himself clinging to Spock’s hand as they entered the house.

Stepping into the much cooler house, Jim heaved a sigh of relief, and pulling a compliant Spock with him, Jim made his way into the kitchen. It was snack time, according to Amanda’s logic, and he was almost positive that there would be some sort of cookie that he could eat to substitute for skipping lunch. “We’re home!” Jim called out as he entered the kitchen, only to find it empty. There was also no freshly baked cookies sitting on the counter for them. Turning to Spock he let go of his friend’s hand before turning in a full circle. “Where do you suppose your mom is? There’s not even a snack out for us and she always has a snack for us when you arrive back from school.” Shaking his head he hurried out of the kitchen before waiting for Spock’s answer.

XxX

Jim’s impatience to return home was understandable, since Jim often stuck to what he said, and he seemed to sincerely wish to tell him what he had gotten on the exam. When Jim practically tumbled off the transport and picked up a pace that far exceeded the speed he should be using, especially when walking home in the hot sun after a number of hours without any sustenance at all, Spock was highly concerned that Jim was going to pass out before they reached the house. When they finally entered the house, even Spock was relieved to be inside. He may be more suited to the Vulcan environment, but he was not entirely fond of the heat. It was much hotter than usual, and keeping pace with Jim meant that he was much warmer than he should be. Stepping into the house was a relief, and when Jim pulled him over into the kitchen he was surprised that his mother did not have any cookies waiting out for them. Jim was similarly surprised, and his response was to ask a series of questions he did not know the answer to nor did he have the time to answer. Jim was already moving away, hurrying out of the kitchen.

Following Jim again, Spock trailed behind as Jim poked his head into each and every room. Considering just how many there were, it was going to take a while to find his mother if they were going to look in every single room. Taking Jim’s hand, he pulled him away from the door he was about to look into. “Perhaps Jim, it would be more efficient to locate Stonn or perhaps N’Ereon, I am certain that they will know where mother is.” Jim’s peevish glare made Spock chuckle, and taking Jim’s hand in his own, he pulled his friend to him, but before he could playfully smack Jim, Amanda stepped out of his father’s study, followed by T’Pau and a young Vulcan girl he did not recognize.

“M’aih.” Straightening, Spock quickly brushed his hair out of his face releasing Jim, before stepping away from his friend and offered his grandmother the ta’al, “Ko-mekh-il. T’nar pak sorat y’rani.” Jim’s puzzled and hurt look made Spock want to pull him close, but he refrained, instead waiting for his grandmother’s response. However, it was Jim who spoke first as he arranged his fingers into a reasonable ta’al, “Minister T’Pau? I am Jim Kirk, it’s very nice to meet you.” Pleased by Jim’s attempts, Spock found that T’Pau was nodding in recognition. “T’nar jaral, S'khart-lan T'Sai Gadzhai Spo'k'hat'n'dlawa.” Inwardly cringing, Spock quickly glanced at Jim who was mouthing the syllables of his full name. Considering Jim’s initial attempts at calling him S’chn T’gai Spock had ended with Shin Tie-Guy Spock he was not particularly looking forward to having Jim attempt his full name, despite the fact that he could now speak Vulcan as if he was born to it. “Indeed, I am Minister T’Pau, and this young woman is T’Pring. And Mister James Tiberius Kirk, I hear you have some remarkable talents, I suggest we adjourn to someplace more comfortable and we may talk more in depth.”

XxX

T’Pau extended her arm formally towards the room Amanda illogically called the living room, despite the fact that nothing lived within it. It was rather puzzling, but it was one of her human idiosyncrasies that made Amanda who she was, the beloved widow of her son, Sarek. Stepping into the room, her posture perfect as she swept through the room and up to one of the soft plush chairs that Amanda had insisted were important to her, T’Pau perched on the edge before settling herself back into the softness. The chair had been Sarek’s, at least in terms of who usually sat in it. She had many memories of Sarek sitting in this chair, discussing a multitude of issues with her, mostly in the formal emotionless tone that most addressed her with. Sometimes she wondered why her son always insisted on addressing her in such a tone when he could have called her “Mother” instead of “Minister T’Pau”, but wondering why he did things in certain ways was not the reason she was here.

The reason she had shown up at what was now Amanda’s residence was two-fold. She had found a match for S’chn T’gai Spock, a well-mannered young woman who was simply called T’Pring. She did not have as long a name as her Spock, but T’Pring was of a wealthy family, one who would be an excellent ally and who did not mind bonding their only daughter to the hybrid son of a deceased ambassador. She had also, however, received the message from School Administer T’Rya, and after meeting Mister Kirk, she was not sure that Administer T’Rya had all her marbles, as Amanda liked to say. Watching the other members of the group find places to sit, T’Pau focused her attention on James, wanting to start with T’Rya’s report, watching as the boy squirmed uneasily, before opening his mouth, and believing that without knowing what she knew, he began to corroborate T’Rya’s message.

“So today was my first day of school, and I had to take the placement exam. So I took it, and I really wasn’t sure what was going to be on it, so I never got around to reviewing or preparing. ‘Cause I was only told I would be allowed to attend the same school as Spock yesterday. So anyway, I took the exam and it was five hundred questions long. And I got a lot of them right and it only took me a couple of hours. Anyway before I took the exam Spock said I’d be told how I did at the end of the day, so I talked to School Administer T’Rya – I promise I didn’t get in trouble – and she said that I got a ninety nine point six percent on the exam, which is if you can’t do the math, that’s a four hundred and ninety eight questions right out of the five hundred and so she said that I could take special classes, and she said Spock’s score made him eligible to take the classes too, so can you take them too Spock, I’d really like it if we could take the special courses together.”

T’Pau was astounded by how many words the boy could string into a single sentence, and still sound like he knew what he was talking about. Amanda looked pleased, and Spock’s face was emotionless, but in his eyes, she could see confusion, pride, and what appeared to be love. Reaching out mentally to brush his mind, along their familial bond, she sought contact with his emotions. They were running wild, and she could feel them before she even brushed his mind. How he managed to keep his face emotionless when his emotions were being projected, she wasn’t sure, but knowing that she needed to guide him in meditation, she sifted through his emotions anyway. It was a grievous breach of privacy, but as long as his emotions were almost tangible, bubbling out from him, it was almost acceptable. The feeling of love was almost overwhelming, and half stunned by the strength of the emotion, she pulled herself back mentally, refocusing her attention on the conversation occurring around her.

“I’m so proud of you!” Amanda’s shrill praise was complimented by a hug, and T’Pau could see James squirming uncomfortably in her arms. “Of course you’ll both take the more advanced classes, right Spock? Oh T’Pau didn’t you hear? Isn’t it so wonderful?” The gushing human woman was grinning broadly, and reaching out to pat Spock’s shoulder. Spock was silent, but it was clear that he was very proud of James. She had a lot more trouble deciphering what she felt about James’s accomplishment, James was a credit to humans, something that made her more proud that her deceased son had picked such a wonderful human wife. At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel that many would be more upset by being shown as inferior to a human.

There had been less tension than expected following the incident of the USS Kelvin, though that was almost solely due to the fact that Sarek had sacrificed himself along with George Kirk. The double sacrifice proved that the Vulcans hadn’t engineered the attack. She could just imagine how the already rocky relationship between Vulcans and Humans would have disintegrated. Many humans were unhappy with being held back, the attack on Earth’s embassy on Vulcan had been a tense moment where relations had almost been destroyed, but they had – barely – managed to keep relations. It had taken a complete reorganization of the Vulcan High Command and some lengthy negotiations with Captain Johnathan Archer and T’Pol to keep the relationship.

T’Pau focused her attention on the uncomfortable T’Pring, and was immediately concerned by the dark glowering look on her features before the look was replaced by a calm expressionless mask. Concern for Spock edged into her awareness, but she brushed it away. T’Pring came from a powerful and wealthy clan, whose influence would aid her in reuniting all of Vulcan. “I am pleased by your accomplishment James T. Kirk. You are a credit to the human race.” Lifting one elegantly slanted eyebrow she tilted her head in acknowledgement, before continuing. “S’chn T’gai Spock I have brought with me a young woman of respectable age, intelligence, and family to bond with you.” Rising, she held out her hand towards T’Pring, who also rose. “This young woman is T’Pring. It has been determined that a match between the two of you will be fortuitous. Despite the age difference, I wish to perform the bonding ceremony immediately as it is imperative to have a developed bond in place before your time.”

XxX

Half stunned, Spock shifted uneasily as T’Pau began to speak, his features held carefully in an expressionless mask. Bonding? He had only just heard of the fact that he was to be bonded, and had not expected it so soon. He knew that almost the entire population was bonded by the age of seven, he just had not expected to be bonded only a day after he had been informed that he was to be bonded.

“In light of your advanced age S’chn T’gai Spock, I intend to have an informal bonding ceremony. I will make this brief, and then both you and T’Pring may get to know each other. I believe Amanda has plans to take Jim out for a treat in a congratulatory act for his score on the placement exam. Please, come with me.”

Rising to his feet, Spock stumbled after T’Pau numbly, noticing that T’Pring seemed indifferent to his grandmother’s statements. He wanted to speak to her, but he knew that now was not the time. Following his grandmother out of the house and into the greenhouse – something his father had built especially for his mother – he followed as she led to a small circular clearing. The ground was covered in a series of runes, ancient pictographs, many of which Spock did not understand. T’Pau took a set on the furthest of three cushions arranged in a triangle. After a quick gesture, Spock knew to take a seat, and when T’Pring had taken her seat, T’Pau began. His grandmother’s hands were cool – cooler than his own – and when she pressed her fingers against his meld points gently, he fought an instinct to lean away from her touch. He could see T’Pring studying him as he carefully settled himself, and when T’Pau reached out to T’Pring, he couldn’t help but notice that she did not move away from his grandmother.

T’Pau was murmuring words, but Spock was hardly paying attention. He could feel another mind probing his, and he was carefully pushing back against the presence. _Do not concern yourself Spock. This will be brief._ T’Pau’s words were calming, and he acquiesced, and shortly after, he could feel a second mind. T’Pau’s presence was bridging them, and he could sense the young woman who was to be his bond mate. Then T’Pau was gone, only T’Pring and himself remained, and he felt alone, and uncertain.

_Your thoughts are illogical. There is no logical reason to be uncertain. My name, as you know, is T’Pring, and we are now bond mates. This is, and always will be. There is no reason to feel alone. We are parted, yet never parted, never and always touching and touched. We are bound._ Her mental voice is light and high, melodious.

_Perhaps they are illogical, but your reasoning is sound. We will always be together now._ Pulling his mind back from their newly formed bond, he pulled himself to his feet and offered T’Pring a hand. It wasn’t until she gave him a mental prod and politely refused his assistance that he realized what he had done. Flushing green before he could control it, he turned towards her. “I have spent too often in the company of a clumsy human. I did not mean to offend.”

“Offend you did not, but I understand and accept your apology. Even if apologies are pointless.” Her voice was flat, and he could detect no emotion in her voice. Barely containing a shrug of his shoulders, a gesture he had picked up from Jim, Spock led the way inside. They were just beginning to enter the house when she spoke again, “It would be desirous to learn more about your interests. So that I may study them and become familiar with the things that pleases my future husband.”

Her words sent chills down his back, and he turned towards her, ignoring her question, raising one of his slanted brows. “Indeed. Come with me and we shall, as humans say, ‘Make ourselves at home and settle down for a nice chat.’ ” Her only response was a sharp nod, not a single action wasted, and he led the way to his room. It was as always impeccably neat and orderly. There was only one item out of place, and it was evidence that Jim had been within the walls after they had returned home.

Making himself comfortable on the bed, he watched as T’Pring sat gingerly on his desk chair. The chair was hard and functional – something Jim complained about constantly when he sat there – and it was a surprise for him to not hear a complaint from the chair’s current occupant. T’Pring’s features remained schooled into an impassive mask, merely folding her hands in her lap, studying him. Uncertain of himself, Spock opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before he began.

XxX

“Jim, I am certain that you do not really need more tolik fruit ice cream.” Amanda’s voice was mock serious as she watched the young boy she considered a son consume yet another bowl of Tolik Fruity Blast. He was enjoying his outing, and she was pleased to see him happy. And she was doubly pleased that he was happy even though Spock wasn’t with them. She often only saw smiles on Jim’s adorable face when he was with Spock. She was glad he was happy, but she wanted to discuss something with him, and it was only at Chris’s urging that she even considered speaking about it to the young boy. She had heard a relatively disturbing tale from Chris, and it all had to deal with Winona.

“You heard, I’m certain, that I am going to be going to Earth for a visit.” Pausing, she watched Jim nod before she continued, “I have friends on Earth, including your mother, and I have heard that your brother is quite sick. He has cancer, and even though medical advances have been made, cancer still makes you sick. I was hoping you would come back with me and see him. I’ll understand if you don’t want to go.” She studied Jim’s reaction, and she was not surprised to see dismay on his face.

“I do not wish to interrupt my studies.” His little face was pale and drawn, and he was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. “Sam is not my brother. He never cared about me. Spock is more my brother than Sam is.” Standing he pushed away from the table and left her alone, her hands folded in front of her as she watched him stumble away. It wasn’t much of a surprise that he didn’t think of Sam as his sibling, since Sam had never stood up for Jim and he was often ignored over looked after by both his mother and his brother. Jim was a broken little boy when he had arrived, and he was healing now. Rising to follow Jim, she walked softly as she trailed him, giving him his space because now more than ever she was certain he would need it.

His relationship with Spock would change, especially now that Spock was bonded. Her son would of course begin to reject all things human, and bury it under his Vulcan logic. T’Pring would bring Spock to focus on only the Vulcan part of himself, and he would struggle to please her, after so long among humans, he would falter, but it would come in time. Jim would become less of his confidant, and it would be less ‘SpockandJim’, less ‘JimandSpock’, and even less of JimSpock and SpockJim. It wouldn’t come suddenly, for Spock had more sense to just abandon the young boy, but it would come nonetheless. She would be sad to see it happen, for Jim brought out the best of her little boy, but Spock was growing, and soon he’d be ready to apply to the VSA. It was heart breaking for her, but she steeled herself and reached out to Jim, pulling the young boy into a hug.

“Come Jim. Let’s go home. I’m sure Spock would like to play some chess now that his time spent with T’Pring is surely almost over. I’ll be leaving for three weeks tomorrow afternoon, and T’Pau will be watching over you.” Jim’s only response was a sullen nod, and she sighed before guiding him into the hovercar. It was almost time for dinner anyway, and she should probably make something before Jim’s stomach began to rumble.

XxX

He was relieved – not that Vulcans feel relief – when T’Pring and T’Pau finally left the house. T’Pring was proper and uptight. She was not unkind, but she was not as outgoing as Jim. He had tried to have a conversation with her, but he had failed and the conversation had bumped along, awkwardly between them until T’Pau came and rescued him. By the time that Mother and Jim returned to the house, he was already meditating, and reinforcing his mental shielding.

He knew he had become lax in his upkeep of his mental shields, and it was only after T’Pau mentioned he should work on his shielding and mental control to prevent others from feeling his emotions, especially since T’Pring would be able to feel their bond as it strengthened. It was weak now, and barely present in his mind, but as they aged, he knew that it would become stronger.

By the time that he had finished meditating, it was time to retire to bed. And despite being slightly hungry, he readied himself, slipping under the covers. Just as he was about to shut off the lights, Jim slipped into his room and hesitated at the door. Turning to look at the younger boy, he raised a slanted eyebrow as Jim shuffled awkwardly. “Now that you’re engaged to someone can we still share a bed?” Rather than replying, he simply shifted over and folded back the blankets for Jim. When Jim had made himself comfortable, Spock pulled him close and let Jim rest his head on his chest. “Good night Jim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M’aih - Mother  
> Ko-mekh-il - Grandmother  
> T’nar pak sorat y’rani. - Traditional Greeting/Salutation  
> T’nar jaral - Traditional response to greeting/salutation  
> S'khart-lan T'Sai Gadzhai Spo'k'hat'n'dlawa - Spock's full name in Golic Vulcan - not the modern standard.


End file.
